IS IT A FELONY IF YOU THREATEN THE CABLE GUY?

I got home Tuesday night and I have no cable TV. Nothing but snow. I am thinking that is Okay since the cable guy is coming tomorrow so I decide to not call it in. The cable guy (who is putting in my Internet) is supposed to be at my home at 8:00 am. He arrives at 9:15. Okay, not too bad since I was thinking it would be closer to 2:00 pm. I tell him about the cable. He goes around the side of the house and figures out that someone has cut my cable in two with a weed whacker. hhhmmmm.....my landlord mowed Tuesday......

So Bill (that's his name and he looked 16 but assured me that he is 36! I really think he was lying and this is just his summer job until he begins his Junior year of high school in the fall) fixes my cable and then tells me that he may not be able to do the net for me because of the age of the cable and this and that and because I am an end apartment. (WTF? Is there rampant end apartment discrimination where you live?)

Me ~blink blink~ *Bill, I know that this is not your fault but you are about to see me have a hissy fit (we have those in the south). You do not know how much trouble I have had trying to get decent Internet service here at the house. You can either die today Bill or you can be my hero.*

~insert cricket chirping noises here~

Bill ~Speaking slowly and backing away~ *Well, let me see if I have the stuff that I need on my truck.*


Bill left. Damn you Bill.
This is where Bill was parked before he escaped.


However, Bill had left his stuff and my plan was to keep it hostage until he came back.

In order to not go chasing Bill down the street, I decided to make cupcakes for my class last night.





Note the fancy THANKSGIVING cupcake wrappers! I am really trying to use things up around here and de-stash.


Then, BILL CAME BACK!!!


He had to climb up on the roof to do things. I think I was making him nervous so I went back into the house and made bread.






Now isn't that dough just pretty???


When I am dieting, I want to cook.


Then, Bill came back in to do some work.




I think I am going to frame this picture and hang it on my wall commemorating the fact that a MAN actually LAID DOWN in my BEDROOM! ~snickers~ Do you see who is peeking out from behind the plant?


Bill never once asked why I have a fiberglass calf in my bedroom. Not once.


She was really shy while he was there.



But....Bill got me INTERNET at the house!!! BILL ENDED UP BEING A HERO!!




Took the cupcakes to my class and they just ate them up!

So...now I have good Internet and my class is over with!

And that makes 2 fires that are now totally out.


And this is the skirt that I made and am wearing today. It has YET to fall apart!


You may want to put on your sunglasses right about now.


Comments

  1. So glad you're back on! We missed you. Hooray for Bill.

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  2. Goodness you've been busy!!! Can I have a bit of that energy puhleeze?

    Yay Bill! Did you give him a cupcake, or was not killing him his reward?

    Nice skirt!!! Were those YOUR 16 year old legs or Bill's after you made him try it on?

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  3. Hope you gave Bill a cup cake too :)

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  4. This is the funniest post I have read in quite some time.

    Also, if you get a chance sometime, could you please explain to me how you did the fancy thing where the tulip stays still and everything else scrolls?

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  5. OMG, this made me laugh. It made biker laugh too. I love the skirt. I told you that you did a great job and it would not fall apart.

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  6. Wow, what a day! Did you just sneak up on poor Bill and snap that photo without his knowledge and approval? And did you give the poor guy a cupcake or a piece of bread?

    The skirt looks great. It almost makes me want to sew again.

    I am so glad you are back online!

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  7. Oh my, what a great first time post to read on your blog. Hahahahaha!

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  8. u make me laugh everytime...

    i am glad u finally joined the ranks of us high speed internet folk!!! keep up the good work on those cupcakes....if u ever have xtra i have a 5 year old who would love them!!

    yea for bill...did u give the poor frightned man a treat for his good work!?....

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  9. I guess poor Bill was too polite (or too nervous) to ask about the calf.

    Yes, your bread dough and your skirt both look great. Was the bread as good as the cupcakes?

    Glad you're back!!!!

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  10. Anonymous7:02 AM

    Funny... When I made cupcakes for my mom on Mother's Day I used Valentine's wrappers!

    Congrats on the boy on his back in your bedroom!

    Mixter

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  11. You are such a riot! I love your wit and your cow fetish. My wee one is learning to love the divine bovine too. :)

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  12. Yayyy! I come back from my little vacation to find not one but two.. two.. two Mindy Blogs in one. Ok not in one really but I just had to say it that way. Glad you got your internet working (but I already knew that) And I LOVE the skirt! And the sandals. I am still madly in love with my new Birkies. And ya know once you got that guy in the bedroom, you should have just chained him there. Was he cute?

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  13. You're a nut!

    MAKE MORE BREAD!!!!!

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  14. Not only do we have hissy fits, but can have some good conniption fits too.

    You are a hoot.

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  15. I think the calf is putting out good cowrma vibes for you.

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  16. And I am going to throw my own hissy fit cause I wanna know why the hell did *I* not get any of that bread???

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  17. Thank you for letting Bill the CG live.

    I need a cupcake.

    Can you do everything??? cupcakes, bread, that pretty skirt???

    WoW.

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  18. Cupcakes!!! Woot!

    I'm totally with you about the cable folks :( It took me 5 attempts before they finally got things right at my house! WTG, M!!

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