*I AM GOING TO BE ON PUNK'D* OR THE ALTERNATE TITLE OF *NO SONOGRAM YET BUT I HAVE AFTERNOON SICKNESS*

I do not know what is going with me and the universe this week but it has gotten odder and odder.

Yesterday I had an appointment for my yearly check-up. You know the one where all women are just so ready to go in and do. I have changed doctors so this was my first time to see him. He is in the city that is 45 miles away so I take off the whole day. I never get to go shopping by myself and we have been working really hard to cut down on our gas usage so I am psyched to have the day to myself! I had a list that included my favorite paper store, Hobby Lobby, Joanns, Michaels, Khol's, Drug Emporium, a plant nursery and the Harley shop.

Trust me when I tell you that the gynecological exam was the HIGH LIGHT of the day.

On my way into town, I was listing to the radio and they were talking about the blood drive that they were having at the actual blood center. I have never been to the actual PLACE. I always get to give blood in the cramped little blood mobile that comes into town. I begin to get into girl scout/do something good and positive mode and think *it has been a few months since I last gave blood. I might just run by there and donate sometime today.*.

I went on to my exam. LOVED the new doctor. Hoped in the CRV and heard the blood donor commercial again.

Then I went to the paper store. Do y'all realize how much I am in love with paper??? OMG I had a ball in that store. I bought paper...luscious paper!!

Hoped back into the CRV and headed towards Hobby Lobby. Heard the commercial again. Bought FABRIC at Hobby Lobby!! Good thing that I do not live in the big city.

Hoped back into the CRV and started out of the parking lot when I heard the commercial again. I said to myself *Self, I think I will just run on over there and go ahead and give blood. Then I will go on to the other stores.*

Sometimes I really should not listen to myself.

I go to the blood center. Have you ever been in one of those places?? Gosh they are nice! Or this one is at least. They ask me all of the questions....I give them all of my answers. They test my blood and tell me that my iron level is good. They take my temp and it is 98.6 on the dot. They take my blood pressure and it is 120/80. I am good to go.

They take me to the back to get me started. It was like I had entered the OZ of blood donation. They had actual recliners for the donors to sit in! Nice plush cushy ones!! There were TV's suspended from the ceiling! One pointed in the direction of each recliner! It was like I had died and gone to vampire heaven! I hop into my comfy recliner and lean back. They put the needle in my arm and we are good to go!

**Let me interject something at this point. I have given blood for a little over 15 years. I am not new to this at all. I try to give each time they come to the probation department blood drives which is usually once every 3 months. I have been turned down a few times because of my iron being too low....usually because I have drink too much tea. I have only had a problem once when giving blood and I almost passed out that time. That was about 5 years ago.

So here I am giving blood and everything is just hunky dory fine. They are really really busy because of the radio station. If you gave blood this week you get 2 free passes to Saturday's showing of Iron Man. That seems to be what everyone is wanting. So there I am just freely bleeding into my little bag. I get about 3/4 done and I start to feel a little funny. I tell my little tech that I am beginning to feel light headed. She ask if I want to stop the donation and I tell her no. She ask if I am beginning to feel hot? I again tell her no...just light headed. She decides to put 3 little ice packs on me and man did they feel good! One at the back on my head and then 2 a little above the girls on my chest. I finally fill my little bag and she takes the needle out of my arm and I lay there for a little bit. I look up and my little tech is looking at me funny. She decides to take my blood pressure. On goes the cuff and it pump, pump, pumps up. She looks at the little read out...she looks back at me and repositions the cuff and pumps me up again. She looks at the screen again and then looks at me and ask.....how are you feeling? Again, I tell her just really light headed. She then tells me that my blood pressure is 72/40. She then tells me that she is going to pump me full of juice and snacks to see if we can get that blood pressure up. I ask for OJ and she gives me apple juice. I think she knew what was eventually going to happen and I am forever grateful for her fore site.

So there I am hanging out drinking my apple juice. She comes over and encourages me to drink another apple juice and then takes my bp. It has moved up to 74/42. I ask her if that is bad. She assures me that we are going to pump it back up.

Every 10 minutes she takes my blood pressure. Every 10 minutes she is not pleased with the results. She shoves another apple juice into my hands and more snacks and tells me to eat up.

I then tell her that I cannot be eating and drinking that much cause I am following WW and doing Pounds Off Plainview. She gives me a look and tells me that is the least of my worries at this point.

All the techs and the supervisor go into a room with glass walls. I can see them. I know that they are talking about me because my handler has her handy dandy notebook that she has been recording my BP in. They all look at me and then talk talk talk. The handler comes out and makes a phone call. She comes back to me, takes my bp and then returns to the phone.

When she comes back she tells me that she has made a call to the on call doctor explaining what is going on with me. That is procedure that they have to follow since they have not been able to get my bp up in 30 minutes. Then my handler tells me that it is her time to go to lunch and gives me to my new handler.

The new handler decides that maybe it would help if she gets me to stand up and takes my bp. That will raise it sometimes. So up I go. I promptly sit back down because the room started spinning. She ask how I feel...again it is just light headed. She ask if I need to throw up. I tell her no. I then tell her that I would appreciate it if she brings me something to throw up in just in case. She made me really antsy with the throw up talk.

She returns with a bright red bio-hazard bag. By this time, I have watched about a million people come in, give blood and then leave. Tiny little things that looked like they did not have any spare blood to give were just in and out of there in no time flat.

And there I sat. All forlorn with my little bio-hazard bag. I got this funny little tickle in my tummy and then.....

Yes you know what it about to happen....

I opened up that bio-hazard bag and I opened up my mouth and 3 bottles of apple juice came pouring forth like a fountain. You know how you get kinds gaggy and throw up in spurts? I DID NOT DO THAT AND WAS AMAZED THE WHOLE TIME I WAS THROWING UP. I was also thinking that whole time *thank goodness this is apple juice and not orange juice!!".I finished and apologized and they put on their little latex gloves and carried my bio-hazard bag away.

Then they wanted me to drink more juice. ~shudders~

My 2nd handler gets on the phone again and comes back to tell me that the doc will not let me leave until they get my top number to at least 100. At that point it is like at 80.

I drink more juice and sit up some more.

I begin to realize that they are not sitting any donors around me anymore. Then they keep going to their glass office and point and talk about me.

That is when I called babygator and tell her to start praying. She tells me that she is in the town far away and is going to come and get me. I tell her that is silly. Things are going to get better and for her just to pray. At that point, she is over 2 hours away from me.

They hand me off to handler #3 and I begin our tour of duty with apologies. She has the privilege of telling me that the doctor has decided that I will not be driving myself home that day and have 2 options. #1 someone can come and get me or #2 one of them will drive me home.

Me *blink blink with big tears in my eyes*

I ask them what they are going to do if I just get up and make a run for it?

Handler #3 begins to laugh until tears are rolling down her face and says, "We will not even chase you sweet cause you will not make it 4 yards until you drop down to the ground."

Dammit I cannot even escape from a blood bank.

I ask them if they will let me get up and move around and eat more snacks to see if I can get it up. They finally release me from the recliner of doom and I walk around. All eyes are on me.

The weird thing is I never ever felt really bad, only light headed. Well, and the barking like Linda Blair.

I give a call to babygator and tell her that things are better and not to come.

Her words? "DENIED. I have already called my brother and we are coming to get you."

I have an epiphany about that time. Both of my children see if in one specif way but react to that way differently.

Babygator believes I can do anything in the world. No doubts. And because of that super human power I. MUST.BE.PROTECTED.AT.ALL.COSTS.

Bebo believes that I can do anything in the world. No doubts. And because of that super human power one must stay out of my way and let me handle it.

Did I ever tell you about getting a will? Bebo is comforted by the fact that I have a will and I have tied everything up neatly. He is taken care of and that is that. He has read my will. Babygator? Not so much. She refuses to even read my will and prefers to believe that I cannot and will never die. Hence, she must protect me.

I look to my handler and ask if we can once more take my bp. I tell her that, if I have to stay much longer, they are going to have to start paying me a salary. She obliges me and it is up to 111!!! Go BP!! She makes a phone call. When she returns to me she tells me that the doc will let me leave if I go straight home. I swear to her that I will. She gives me my t-shirt, tickets, a new handy dandy shiny bio-hazard bag and a phone number. She tells me that I am to call that number immediately if I get to feeling bad on the way home. That number will allow someone to come and get me if I am 3 blocks away or 30 miles away.

I am not daft. I KNOW that number was for dial-a-prayer.

So, 1 tshirt, 2 bio-hazard bags, 7 ice packs, 6 bottles of apple juice, 2 packs of chex mix, 3 packs of cookies, 3 handlers and 3.HOURS.LATER....I finally am set free from the blood bank.

I get into my CRV and start home. Babygator is not happy with me cause she is coming to get me. I promise her that I will immediately pull over if I am not feeling well. She beat me to Plainview by about 15 minutes. She and bebo spent the rest of the night taking care of me.

My mom told me it was my own fault. I should have known not to give blood while pregnant. ~snickers.

I have never been so glad to be home in all of my life!!

I bet I know what or who the girls at the blood bank talked about today. ~sheeze~

Some of the parting gifts that I was sent away with:





I think that the heart on the t-shirt looks suspiciously like the symbol on my bio-hazard bag.
Who ever gets my blood will never ever know the trouble it took to get it to them.