I went to my first official board meeting on Wednesday. First off, I was early. I have this phobia about being late so, therefore, I am always early. Because of that, I am standing out in the hall looking like I am a first grader that has gotten herself into trouble.

The cow benefactor (who will be known from here on out as Tarzan of the Plains or just Tarzan for short. Why Tarzan you ask? He and I were having an email conversation about his blog name and he replied with *Is Tarzan of the Cows taken? I was a feral child, raised by a herd of Holsteins in Dunn County Wisconsin on the banks of the Hay river, you know.*) came and unlocked the door and rescued me.

I went in and had a seat and just talked with Tarzan a little bit. Others began to wander in until there was a grand total of 6 of us. So, odds are stacked in my favor that I will fit in right? Wrong sweet readers so wrong.

The meeting begins and words like REVITALIZATION, ECONOMIC RESTRUCTURING and GRANTS began to come out of people's mouths.

Me? This week, I have used phrases such as:

**Can you pee in the cup right now or do you need to drink some water?

**What do you mean you do not know her last name? You had sex with her and she made a hickey necklace around your neck but you do not know her last name??

**BYOG....bring your own goat. That is so funny Rachel!

**No, this UA cannot tell me if you are pregnant.


Motions began to be made. Someone would second the motion and then they would call for a vote. ME? I just waited until I saw everyone else raising their hands and mine shot up like I was just as cool as every one else. Remember the shoulder jerker in Austin. Well, she and I must be cousins.

~lay her head on her desk a moment and takes a deep breath~

Then the meeting finally turns to the cows. Tarzan turns to me and says, "Mindy, tell them some of your ideas."

The spot light is on me and I fly! I tell them how I love our cows but I believe that so much more can be accomplished with them if people just know how and what to do. I launch in to how our cows can have more dimension to them and do not have to be just plain painted cows. The new cows can have pop and personality!

I was very pleased with myself at that point and had the presence of mind to SHUT UP thank goodness because that skill does not always kick in for me.

Tarzan turns to lady on my left. Beautiful woman dressed in black heels, flowy skirt and delicate earrings. He begins to talk to her about WHEN HER COW WENT TO CHICAGO....

My heart turned over. My mind thought "Oh S_ _ _, I have just DISSED an artist of an original cow. " Not just an artist...I mean a REAL ARTIST! One that has been paid for her work.

The meeting continues and I finally began to breath again.

Tarzan then turns to the head of the meeting who, is also an ARTIST, and says "Now when you painted your cow...." Another original artist.


That was the sound that my body made when it hit the floor after I passed out.

Now I am beginning to fear that the artists think that I think that their cows lacked pop and pizazzz.

Finally the meeting ended and I scurried out to the CRV. I sat there for a moment just trying to take it all in. My first thoughts were about how I had no clue as to what was going on and I needed out! OUT! OUT! OUT! I could not do this! I am out of my comfort zone!!

~insert screeching brake noises here~ WAIT A MINUTE. This is Princess Mindy and she can do anything that she sets her MIND to! Okay, I am willing to admit that I have not a clue as to what is going on....yet. I am also willing to admit that I am out of my element.

But Mindy...she LOVES her some cows!

I find it hard to believe that anyone could love these fiberglass cows as much as I do. I may not know or understand everything else yet but I will.

And the herd is going to be so damned proud of me.

Tarzan assures me that I did just fine. In the meantime, just in case I get a *Dear Jane* letter from Tarzan telling me how the board has decided that they do not need my fiberglass bovine knowledge and I need to return my cow pronto, I am turning over my calf to the witness relocation program. If the Feds will not take her than Ming may just have to join the Underground Cow Railroad.

I will NOT let Tarzan reposses her.

So run on cows to see here today! So sorry. What? What is that you ask? Is that a calf? ~clearing my throat and practicing~ Calf? What calf? There is no calf here!

Who is this you ask?

Oh this is just my new landlord Fernando! He is a shy little man so please do not mention his height it tends to upset him. He was just repairing something around the house for not pay him *cough cough* any attention.

Sorry that I have no cows to blog about today. There are no cow pictures that I can share with you.

Maybe next Friday ~grins~


  1. OMG. You're a nut! I love it!

  2. Does Fernando have a VISA....if not, I know who we can hook him up with!

  3. Fernando?? Fernando!?

    This is hillarious!!!!!

    If the artists were, in fact, offended, (NOT BLOODY LIKELY) you can take comfort in the fact that the effigy of you that they burn will be a REALLY GOOD LIKENESS.

  4. ROFLMAO!!! (no that is NOT the name of Fernando's cousin)

    This is so funny because I completely identify. Showing up early. Being locked out. Feeling like a felonious first grader. All of it. Most especially the part where you gleefully, joyfully stick both feet in your mouth so that you end up airborne just before your ass hits the floor. Oh yes, we could be twins, you and I.

    And Fernando. That is just too much. Gonna be laughin' all day now.

  5. Paint your toenails with cherry flavored polish the next time. You will be just fine. And do me a favor. Do not EVER. ever. Say anything like *pop* again. (pretty please Madam Princess of the Cows)) That is becoming the most ridiculously over-used decorating term since *Whimsical*... which I think I hate even more than *pop*. Or *re-purpose* or... hmmm.. I also am sick to death of the word *journey* but that's a whole other blog rant... Now I think it's time to go suck it up and watch the Backyardigans and chill out.

  6. LOL!!

    The fiberglass animals I helped my friend with were covered with intricate pieces cut from polymer clay - no painting.

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  8. I was so overcome I couldn't even spell. Let's try this again...

    Good Grief, Mindy. I'm sitting here starting my weekend with a glass of wine and I damn near spit it out all over my computer desk.

    Don't forget when in "their" presence that you are an artist, too!

    Oh, and BTW, I would have Fernando get rid of that cheezy mustache. For crying out loud take him to a costume shop!

  9. I thought his name was Javier? I think that is how you would spell it. I have not seen the calf that you use to have...maybe she jumped on a train and has decided to ride the rails for a while. You should offer a reward that is for sure!!!

  10. Listen Mindy, if you need me to come get the calf, I will. I will take her so far into the piney woods of Louisiana that no one will find her and I will only tell you where she is. My cousins will look after her until it is safe to come home to you.

    Fernando looks to me like he has cleavage, the way that jacket fits him.

  11. Ok I'll try this again... apparently this stupid thing thought I was trying to add to my comments in HTML.

    TARZAN? *snicker*.. You JANE? *eg*

  12. At some point you're going to have to explain these cows to me.

  13. Fernando is a cow/calf with some POP!

    LOL ... it stands right out. I love it. Love, love, love it ...

  14. Mindy, you're the greatest!

  15. I'm lovin' Fernando!!


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