THERE IS NO FRIDAY COW BLOGGING HERE.....JUST KEEP MOVING ALONG IN AN ORDERLY FASHION.....NO COWS TO SEE.....

I went to my first official board meeting on Wednesday. First off, I was early. I have this phobia about being late so, therefore, I am always early. Because of that, I am standing out in the hall looking like I am a first grader that has gotten herself into trouble.

The cow benefactor (who will be known from here on out as Tarzan of the Plains or just Tarzan for short. Why Tarzan you ask? He and I were having an email conversation about his blog name and he replied with *Is Tarzan of the Cows taken? I was a feral child, raised by a herd of Holsteins in Dunn County Wisconsin on the banks of the Hay river, you know.*) came and unlocked the door and rescued me.

I went in and had a seat and just talked with Tarzan a little bit. Others began to wander in until there was a grand total of 6 of us. So, odds are stacked in my favor that I will fit in right? Wrong sweet readers so wrong.

The meeting begins and words like REVITALIZATION, ECONOMIC RESTRUCTURING and GRANTS began to come out of people's mouths.

Me? This week, I have used phrases such as:

**Can you pee in the cup right now or do you need to drink some water?

**What do you mean you do not know her last name? You had sex with her and she made a hickey necklace around your neck but you do not know her last name??

**BYOG....bring your own goat. That is so funny Rachel!

**No, this UA cannot tell me if you are pregnant.

Trust me readers...NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE HAVE EVER BEGUN TO IMAGINE SAYING THOSE THINGS.

Motions began to be made. Someone would second the motion and then they would call for a vote. ME? I just waited until I saw everyone else raising their hands and mine shot up like I was just as cool as every one else. Remember the shoulder jerker in Austin. Well, she and I must be cousins.

~lay her head on her desk a moment and takes a deep breath~

Then the meeting finally turns to the cows. Tarzan turns to me and says, "Mindy, tell them some of your ideas."

The spot light is on me and I fly! I tell them how I love our cows but I believe that so much more can be accomplished with them if people just know how and what to do. I launch in to how our cows can have more dimension to them and do not have to be just plain painted cows. The new cows can have pop and personality!

I was very pleased with myself at that point and had the presence of mind to SHUT UP thank goodness because that skill does not always kick in for me.

Tarzan turns to lady on my left. Beautiful woman dressed in black heels, flowy skirt and delicate earrings. He begins to talk to her about WHEN HER COW WENT TO CHICAGO....

My heart turned over. My mind thought "Oh S_ _ _, I have just DISSED an artist of an original cow. " Not just an artist...I mean a REAL ARTIST! One that has been paid for her work.

The meeting continues and I finally began to breath again.

Tarzan then turns to the head of the meeting who, is also an ARTIST, and says "Now when you painted your cow...." Another original artist.

THUMP

That was the sound that my body made when it hit the floor after I passed out.

Now I am beginning to fear that the artists think that I think that their cows lacked pop and pizazzz.

Finally the meeting ended and I scurried out to the CRV. I sat there for a moment just trying to take it all in. My first thoughts were about how I had no clue as to what was going on and I needed out! OUT! OUT! OUT! I could not do this! I am out of my comfort zone!!

~insert screeching brake noises here~ WAIT A MINUTE. This is Princess Mindy and she can do anything that she sets her MIND to! Okay, I am willing to admit that I have not a clue as to what is going on....yet. I am also willing to admit that I am out of my element.

But Mindy...she LOVES her some cows!

I find it hard to believe that anyone could love these fiberglass cows as much as I do. I may not know or understand everything else yet but I will.

And the herd is going to be so damned proud of me.

Tarzan assures me that I did just fine. In the meantime, just in case I get a *Dear Jane* letter from Tarzan telling me how the board has decided that they do not need my fiberglass bovine knowledge and I need to return my cow pronto, I am turning over my calf to the witness relocation program. If the Feds will not take her than Ming may just have to join the Underground Cow Railroad.

I will NOT let Tarzan reposses her.

So run on along...no cows to see here today! So sorry. What? What is that you ask? Is that a calf? ~clearing my throat and practicing~ Calf? What calf? There is no calf here!

Who is this you ask?

Oh this is just my new landlord Fernando! He is a shy little man so please do not mention his height it tends to upset him. He was just repairing something around the house for me....do not pay him *cough cough* any attention.

Sorry that I have no cows to blog about today. There are no cow pictures that I can share with you.

Maybe next Friday ~grins~