This is the sign that I passed at 7:00am to get to today's cow. Sorry for the quality but the sun was just coming up. Yes, Fridays cow...eerrrmm....steer... lives at the prison. He lives OUTSIDE of the gates so he is not a convict. Well, maybe he is because I did not have the time to ask him.

With total disregard to the sign, I whipped the CRV onto the side of the road and snapped my first picture. This is freshly plowed cow. He is brown. The brown looks like freshly plowed ground. That is something that we see a lot of around here. Then there are big ole tractor tire tracks all over him. Notice the rain on the ground? I am wearing my sparkly sandals so that hampered my ability to scamper quickly and take shots like a model photographer would. Well, that and the prison guard that came out with his hands on his hips and asked me to explain myself.

A note about prison guards. They are usually LARGE people. The largeness is not helped by the fact that they have to tuck their uniforms in. Not only are they large but they usually have very large egos. They forget that they are only in charge of the people INSIDE of the gate and not OUTSIDE of the gate. Mine fit this category plus he was wearing his bad ass Oakley's. No gun, guards are not allowed to wear guns.

Him "Just what do you think you are doing?"
Me *grinning like an idiot and trying to keep moving around so that my feet do not begin to sink in the mud* "Me? I am just taking pictures of the cow."
Him "Pictures of the cow or of the prison?? Do you know anyone being housed at this facility?? Ma'am we do not much like prison breaks around here."
Me *blink began to dawn on me how odd it did look to be out there at 7 taking photos in a zone that it says no parking. This man thought I might be planning a prison break! I must look tough! in my sparkly sandals.*
Me "Pictures of the cow! I promise! I am sure I know someone here at the facility because of my job but no one I would want to break out!"
Me *again thinking I would have worn better shoes if I was going to break into a prison!!*
Him *Well, alright take one more picture but do not come any closer. "
Me *thinking what are you going to do Mr. Prison guard?? NANER NANER NANER. Chase me around our here in the mud? I may not be athletic but I felt as though I could outrun this man PLUS get photos of the guard in action!*
Me *thinking ONCE AGAIN...DANG I am bad in my own head! Too bad it does not leak out!*
Me "Okay Sir"
This is the second picture.
Then, as I was driving back into town, I saw this billboard that is just right behind the Emergency Vehicle Sign and it just cracked up.

I guess it is posted for people who do not read the DO. NOT. STOP. HERE. sign.



  1. Love it.
    You and your crazy adventures - you rock sister.

  2. oh this made my day sis :)

  3. LMAO I know exactly what the guard looks like too. They all look the same. Like small town cops on one too many donut binges.

  4. Oh, hahahaha, you HAVE to turn this cow business into a book. You HAVE to!!! These adventures of yours, plus the pictures ....OMG. Can't wait for my autographed copy. Or you could sell them packed in one of your gorgeous homemade purses!!

  5. ~laughing histarically~
    You in your sparkly sandels with your duct taped camera!!! That just goes to shoe you how are prison systems are running. Lol.

  6. P.S.
    Well, it took me awhile. Just finally noticed that you used my quote!!

    *bows humbly*

  7. You just crack me up!

  8. And ya know... Literacy Council signs ALWAYS make me scratch my head and go HUH? Because if you can read the freaking sign, then you obviously don't NEED to learn how to read. So just who the hell is the SIGN for???

  9. Oh, man! This is sooo funny! You are such a bad-ass on the inside.


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