Conversations In a CRV Part 2

We were listening to Kidd Craddock on the way to Bebo's Christian school this morning (The school that I pay for him to go to). We have not listened to the show in months and I have just simply forgotten about it. I always stop listening when they start doing things about Kidd's kids. That is a program where Kidd host trips for very ill and terminal children to Walt Disney World all expenses paid. I think it is a wonderful program BUT when they are talking about it and planning it just makes me cry all the way to work. Bebo thinks that is a hoot but I just cannot listen to that station around that time.

Anyway, the skit on the show this AM is about a redneck woman who has designed her own line of greeting cards. She is so excited because 4 car washes have already agreed to carry her line. The first set is geared towards getting the abuser in your life to stop hitting you. On the front of the card it read *I love you too much to hit you back.* the card opens to a smiling picture of Lorenna Bobbit.

Bebo looks at me and says, *I don't get it.*

Me ~blink blink and just trying to think of what to say~

Me *Well, the Bobbit's were married and they did not get along and one night she....errrrmm.....well...she....aaaahhhh.....cut it off.*

Him ~blink blink~ *She cut what off?*

Me (to myself) ~Come on girl THINK! You're hip...progressive...open! You TELL people to get their tubes tied or use birth control when they DO NOT EVEN ASK YOU!! Say it!!~

Me *Well....aaahhhh....his penis.*

There I said it. I used the anatomically correct word and was very proud of myself.

Him ~mouth open staring at the road not wanting to carry the converstation on any longer but powerless to help himself~

Him *SHE CUT OFF HIS PENIS? FOR REALS???*

Me *Uh huh. She did. She had alot of problems and spent alot of time in a mental hospital after that. After she cut it off, then she drove off....rolled down her window...and flung it out the window.*

I have discovered that I just love the word flung.

Him ~exiting the vehicle swallowing and blinking alot~ *You think SHE HAD PROBLEMS??? That is just so WRONG in so many different ways!*

He walks off shaking his head and looking a bit wide eyed.

I left him at the Christian school that I pay for. Lord knows that child needs all of the help he can get with me around.

And we won't be listening to Kidd anymore in the mornings.

Comments

  1. ROFLMBO........wiping the one eye that works and then.......LAUGHING SOME MORE!!!!!!!

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  2. You didn't tell him about how they sent the paramedics out looking for it, then glued it back on?

    Probably a good thing. Who would believe that?

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  3. Rev Dave8:03 AM

    So...how long before the Christian School called you to tell you what your boy had been telling the other students?

    My bet is about an hour or so. Who wants to join the pool? Half hour increments from the start of school until the end. Winner gets...something.

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  4. Oohh, good idea! I'm guessing 2:30 p.m. (after P.E.?)

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  5. Oohh, good idea! I'm guessing 2:30 p.m. (after P.E.?)

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  6. I guess I forgot that part of the story rev dave. I told him he MUST NOT TALK ABOUT THAT AT SCHOOL.

    So I am thinking I have at least until lunch before the school calls.

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  7. AND welcome back dave! We missed ya! Out rounding up varmits

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  8. Rev Dave9:08 AM

    HRH:

    I don't think you have until lunch. I'm a product of one of those places and trust me, news like that just can't be kept silent (well, maybe until after chapel.)

    The rounding up varmits thing is going to happen at this week's presbytery meeting.

    But I am going to help some folks be mean to their bull today (no, not _that_ mean) Just a quick brandin' and ear taggin'. Considering I saw the owner tussling with this yearling bull last week, I have to wonder why I was invited. Maybe they think I can keep an ornery adolescent bull in line?

    The big roping and branding is in a couple of weeks. It's one of the few days I'll wear my big hat and not feel like a fake. (My big secret is that I grew up in New England, a hundred miles from _NEW YORK CITY)

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  9. Cool! Can Rach and I drive the Towncar of Justice up and watch??

    and you ARE going to play in my cow contest aren't you??

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  10. ROFL - and it hurts (I'm NOT supposed to laugh Mindy!)

    and I think they email at the end of the day -cos the teacher's too busy laughing to phone :) - assuming the teacher is a she that is !

    and er -why NOT talk about it. It happened. Even the looking for it and gluing it back on. Yeah who'd believe that!

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  11. OOPPS! Sorry about that Lorna. And it was not so much that I could not discuss it with him but that I was so totally unprepared to talk about severed penises so early in the morning.

    Not our usual morning conversation don't ya know.

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  12. This was exactly what I needed today!

    You rock!

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  13. LOL, that's great!

    Dave, put me down for 3 pm in the pool.

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  14. Raatzz. I am late. I would have figured sometime after lunch you'd be getting a call. But now that you told him not to talk about it, you may not hear from the school. No, you'll be hearing from somebody's mother later in the week.

    Don't you just hate when sensitive subjects come up just as you are dropping them off?

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  15. Brilliant use of the word, "flung." Brilliant. It was precisely when I came upon that word that I bust out laughing as I read your post. :) There's just a certain joie de vivre to it, don't you think? And then she flung it out the window . . .

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  16. My son doesn't know about the Bobbits yet...at least I don;t think so. Joe used to go to a Christian School, I remember all those phone calls.

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  17. Uh-huh. Yesterday my son asked me, "So what IS the F-word, anyway?" So I told him what the word was and what it refered to.(He already knew the basic biological principle involved) So now the Pastor's son can go enlighten his classmates with this info. Nice, eh?

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  18. jwd you are so right. *Threw it out the window* seems a bit well...tacky but *flung* gives it flair.

    Oh pct...we had the same sort of day huh? Enlightenment all around!!

    And FYI people....the school never called....naner naner naner!

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  19. But you still have the weekend for the parents to start talking...and to give you a "concerned" call....
    (cue the music from...The Twilight Zone...or maybe Blessed Assurance?)

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  20. I would almost bet that Bebo is still in a bit of shock......It'll take a couple of days for the calls.

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  21. BAAAAAHAHA oh my poor kid.

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  22. laughing at the 'not our early morning conversation' and PCIT - PK's have to know too you know :) at least that's the excuse we use. (Not that I am a pastor yet but ...)

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  23. Rev Dave9:35 AM

    Well, if the school hasn't called, I guess that proves that I _don't_ have the gift of prophecy after all.

    I musta been imagining/remembering what _I_ woulda done at my Christian School growing up. They had my folks on speed-dial.

    Sorry, Mindy, for projecting my warped self on your obviously virtuous son.

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  24. I'm a firm believer that the words "flung" and "penis" should never be used in the same sentence. To say that someone is "flinging penis" just sounds so trashy.

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  25. LOL... wonderful story....please let us know what the school says when he tells the story!!!

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  26. This is priceless.

    and reminds me of MY conversations in the car with Chaos....

    Word verification

    dzzlpnus

    Hmm.....

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