Random Pieces of Amarillo Texas

I spent last weekend with Baby Gator. I had such a great time cause it has been awhile since she and I have had any real time alone together. Thing is....baby gator is a night person and I am a morning person but it worked out all right. Here are just some random pieces of the weekend. Maybe she will blog about it too cause I bet you might just get a different version.

*We saw real live HOOKERS! She and I made a drag down the Boulevard. I do not get to see hookers in Plainview. Well, maybe I do and just do not realize it. I can tell you this, they are not as Hollywood portrays them. I would be a damned fine hooker with this boobage going on. Plus I would know not to wear a bra with straps with a tube top.

*I did not get to see my favorite baby in the world cause he was sick. I did get to see his precious princess sisters. Damn I love those children. They belong to the gator's friend but stole my heart rather easily. It was the twins b-day and we partied at the park and had a wonderful time.

*While garage saling, the Mom and the kids I love called and told us her house had been broken into. We went over to look. The windows in the back door were broken and there was blood in the house. It happened again the second night. I stood at the back door and was scared in broad day light even though I knew there was nothing to be afraid of.

*Met the gators boss and his wife. Her name is Miss Betty and the husband is Big R. That woman could be my friend in a heart beat! She is an older woman with health problems but that does not slow her down one little bit! She has short purple hair and carries oxygen with her. She is maybe 5'2 and her husband is over 6 feet. He is one big man! I sat between her and her husband as she told the story of how she thought that she had killed him in Nashville. They had rented her one of those handy dandy little scooters so that she could get around easier while they went site seeing. Those scooters have two speeds....slow and fast. The slow is represented as a turtle on the controls and the fast is represented as a rabbit. Big R had warned her to leave it on turtle. She told me *Why would I want to leave it on turtle when I can go fast like the rabbits??*. Anyway she ends up ramming him from behind as he is walking in front of her. Then it was like everything is in slow motion, Big R cluthes his chest and takes a dive OVER the railing and into the flower beds. She begins to scream *I have KILLED my husband.* Big R then tells me that the manager of the place tells her *I can see him moving so I think he is alive.* Big R says that he thens tells the manager *I am not dead but I know someone that is about to be.* She thinks that he is dead because she saw him cluthing his chest before the dive and thinks he has had a heart attack. Anyway, Big R was still alive and Miss Betty has not been allowed to rent another scooter. She then whispered to me *It was his own damned fault cause I told him 8 times to get out of my way.*.

*There are 2 major bars in Amarillo. So we cruise the parking lot of each to see if any of gator's friends were there. I began to realized that there is a woman sitting on the outer edges of the parking lot waiting to see if *he* shows up. You know who *he* is. The one that says *I cannot go out tonight cause my sister/cousin/grandmother is in town.*. I saw her in both parking lots at different times.

*Heated plug in ice scrappers did not catch on. Saw 6 of them at 6 different garage sales Saturday morning. Do NOT order one on line. I can get you one for under $1.00.

*Do you want to learn how to change your template? Nope. Are you sure? Yes Mom I am sure. Really? Well, yeah show me.

*Do you not want pictures on your blog? Nope. Are you sure? Yes I am sure. Really? Well, yeah show me. ~grins...there are now pics on her blog~

*Patrick learned fast that his Momday (me) wakes up fast when he puts his big old nose under her arm.

*I got to watch big ole Mr. R sit with 3 little five year old girls and string candy beads. He was even so sweet that he let them model their creations on him. I just love watching men with good hearts.

*We turned the corner going to a garage sale in a really nice neighborhood. There in the lot is an older man who was in a wheelchair. His left arm and leg looked crippled. He held a gun in his right hand and was shooting at targets taped to his fence. WE DID NOT STOP FOR THAT GARAGE SALE. hhmmm....there might have been another heated ice scrapper there.

*I saw a woman exit a limo carrying a giant inflated penis. No lie! It was about 3 feet tall and 1 foot around. Is that want the commercials means when they say *If swelling last for more than 12 hours please see a doctor?*. Or have they changed that much since I have seen one????

It was a wonderful weekend.


  1. What a great post and I'm still scratching my chin over the giant inflatable penis. Why? whty?

  2. The best that the gator and I could figure out is that the whole group was there for a bachelorette party and she was the bride to be.

  3. I just love your exuberance!

    I do love the fact that you ended with the penis... then "it was a wonderful weekend." Something about that made me chuckle.

  4. Woo Hoo! Big weekend in Amarillo! Yes, did I tell you that is where I grew up? Lot's of memories! And yes I have seen the Hookers! When we were growing up we used to drive down the boulevard to see them! Nasty!
    Sorry to say that I don't miss the Big A, just the friends that I have that live there!

  5. Thank you RM...that was a wonderful compliment.
    I did not know that you grew up there Peg?!?! I sent several of my childhood years there. Went to Oakdale Elementry school. I like Amarillo but I am glad to live where I live.

  6. Ok wait wait wait. This is not an acurate portrail of this weekend. Go to my blog to see what really happened.


  7. There's no place like...!

  8. Impressive! (Now I am going to other site for the truth of the matter!)


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