And if everyone else was jumping off of a bridge.....

Seems like the thing to do.

My uncle once: carried me on his shoulders so that I was higher than anyone else. My Aunt and Uncle got married the year I was born. They tried but could not have kids for the first 7 years of being married. I became their substitute child and they took me every where. He died when I was 18.

High school was: tolerated until the last few days of Senior year. I liked it and I was in tons of activities....eerrrmm.....not sports ( I am a Drama/Speech/Annual geek), but I felt that I was invisible all of those years. There was an awards ceremony 3 days before graduation. I was awarded most dependable, most friendly and most trustworthy . WHY DID YA'LL NOT TELL ME THIS SOONER AND I WOULD HAVE ENJOYED HIGH SCHOOL!!!

I will never forget: looking up at college graduation (I was 34 years old) and seeing my Mom crying because she was so proud of me. My Daddy, Baby Gator (age 14) and Be Bo (age 3) were right there rooting me on.

I once met: Phyllis George's daddy in K-Mart in Denton Texas. He even told me that was who he was because he was so proud of her. That is a good daddy.

Once at a bar: I was hit on by the guy that runs the local AA group while we were doing bar checks. He was drinking but was making a black tally on his arm with a sharpie each time he drank a beer cause *he knew his limit*. ~rolls her eyes~ Oh yes, that should attract the women.

By noon I'm usually: Whining about eating or seeing if someone is going to get us something to eat. It's noon....you eat cause it's noon....does not matter if you are hungry. It's NOON.

Last night: Taught my class. I love teaching that class.

If only I had: all of the answers and someone to believe that I had all of the answers.

Next time I go to church: In Plainview? Rach and Ester will applaud. In Clarendon, I will raise my hands in praise and worship and go to the alter to pray. I miss that Church so much.

When I turn my head left: I see the picture that I made of angelic letter postcards that says *HOPE*

When I turn my head right: My wand on the wall. And my telephone.

You know when I'm lying when: I grin when I am telling you what ever it is. I am an awful liar so I stay away from it.

Every day I think about: Having smaller boobs. I would give anything to be able to wear those cute shirts or a blouse that does not look as though the *girls* are trying to bust out. (no pun intended). I have signed the back of my Texas drivers license and stated that I want to be a boob donor for the under endowed.

By this time next year: I will be eating healthy and maybe have another car. Now let's all join together right now in a moment of silent prayer about the car thing.

I have a hard time understanding: Why people do not put there damned carts back into the CART HOLDERS in parking lots! I think there is a special place in hell for people who leave there carts willy nilly in parking lots. FOR SHAME!!

If I ever go back to school I'll: Be in heaven!! I miss school. I would like to get my Masters or even go to cooking school.

You know I like you when: I cook for you.

If I won an award the first person I'd thank is: You LIKE me you really LIKE me. More than likely my family and friends.

My ideal breakfast is: doughnuts fried in lard from Frisco Bakery. They do not say that they are fried in lard but it is a wonderful old hispanic bakery and the doughnuts are to die for.

A song I love, but do not have is: Alanis Morissette - I'm A Bitch I'm A Lover or Mr. Brightsides by The Killers

If you visit my hometown, I suggest: You have to take the Fiberglas cow tour! You need to eat gorditias at Tacqueria Perlita (Only $1.50 a piece!! and the hot sauce will make your lips tingle......How many gorditias can probation officers eat???) And come to the office and meet me and Rach. You have to see the differences in our offices and I will let you take her DAMNED clown doll home as a souvenir of your visit.

Why won't anyone: get someone to proof read their personal ad or look at their picture before they post it? Why would a man post a shirtless photo of himself with his head tilted up so that you see his 2 BIG NOSTRILS to meet new women? And was that the best picture out of the bunch?!?!?!

If you spend the night at my house: I go to bed early but you can stay up as late as you like. Please do not try to steal my calla lilies from the bathroom.

I'd stop my wedding for: No way Jose! If I am getting married again ain't nothing going to stop it. Please have the defibulator ready in case the groom has a heart attack.

The world could do without: Brittney Spears, pop up ads, raisins and those weird funky overpasses that I cannot breath on.

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: go over one of those stupid funky overpasses.

Paper clips are more useful than: those folder brad thingys that I throw away. Please do not tell the office staff that I do that.

And by the way: did ya know that I am addicted to reading blogs and craftster.org? I love doing all of the swaps at craftster. Anyone up for a blog swap?? I would organize it!!

The last time I was drunk: I am a total nerd when it comes to drinking. I have never drank alcohol but I do teach the DWI Repeat Offender class at my department. Kinda like having an anorexic women teach the Weight Watchers classes.


For reals....we could do a blogger swap!!

Comments

  1. Oh man, Mindy - That was hillarious! Did the AA man at the bar give you any good lines - "you had me at hello" or anything like that? Love the anorexic weight watchers leader, too!

    You are too funny!

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  2. P.S. What would a blogger swap entail? What would we be swaping? I'm interested.

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  3. To show you what an obsessive commenter I am, I commented here an hour or so ago, but my home internet connection when down before I could publish it. So....I drove all the way into school just so I could comment! Well, I was coming here anyway...but still, I comment:

    I love your list...you had me laughing. I rolled my eyes at the AA who "knows his limit" too! I won't be sending anyone to *his* group!

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  4. But I love you cause you ARE an obsessive commenter. We are birds of a feather Friday!

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  5. If enough people might be intersted in a swap I will blog about it and organize it. It can be people that I do not even read yet. Rach had an excellant idea of it being something that you make or buy (with a $ limit) that would represent yourself. That would be sent to your swap partner. Great idea huh!?!

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  6. I love the story about your uncle. My mom and dad were childless for 11 years of marriage before adopting me, and my cousin spent Friday night with them almost every weekend. My dad took her out to the bakery and the fish market and the farmer's market on Saturday mornings just as he would later do with me. What a connection for all of us.

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  7. Oh songbrid, I loved your memory. We were so blessed to have those loving people in our lives that gave of themselves. I am sure that, at the time, they never dreamed that little normal things would be such big memories for us.

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  8. I totally love the idea of a swap. I have done this on a message board I participate in--we exchanged Christmas (holiday) ornaments, then a Valentine's goodie bag.

    Maybe something in honor of the dog days of summer.

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  9. I'll send a bottle of gatorade. Or then again, maybe not.

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  10. You are the funniest!
    So, if you get married again, are you going to require the officiant to be certified in defibullator use?

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  11. This made me laugh! Many thanks!
    I like sending gifts and receiving packages. Is this what you are suggesting?

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  12. Great answers! heh.
    you are a very funny blogger!

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  13. Hey Mindy,

    I found your blog, not sure how, but curious - do you live in Abilene? I know they have cows there and I am thinking I have been somewhere else with cows????? Anyway, love your blog. I am an Amarillo,Abilene, Austin and inbetween girl! Nice to meet ya!

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  14. Hi Peg ~waving~ I am a Plainview girl....I am between Amarillo and Lubbock. Love the fiberglass horses in Amarillo. I am glad you found me!

    ~runs off to read peg's blog~

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  15. Hi Mindy, you left a nice comment about my apron so I had to drop by. Your list was very cute. When my babies were little, I was very paranoid that someone would steal them while I returned the grocery cart. So I NEVER returned the carts! Now they are older and I ALWAYS return the carts and even some that weren't mine as a penance for all the ones I left in my past!

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  16. Hi tender arts....that is understandable! I am glad that you are at least building up your karma by returning other carts too!

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