I made an offhand remark to babygator about wanting to start kinda sorta looking for a house to buy. Bebo is convinced that we will never move from the apartment that forbids pets while he is living there. He just knows that I am moving the day after he moves out and that I have already placed an order with Arks R Us to deliver about 11 70dy animals to the new house.

I know better than to tell babygator things like that. Within about 20 seconds, she had called the lady that helped her with financing on her own home and had hooked me up.

I now am pre-approved for a home loan.

This scare the bagibbers out of me in more ways than one. This is where the crazy part comes in.

I am consumed with the thought that buying my own house means that I am giving up on love.

There....I said it out loud. I never promised you that I was sane now did I???

My head has knowledge and it truly knows that my irrational thoughts are just that...irrational thoughts. My head knows that it is ROCKIN that I am able to do that as a single parent!! That I have put myself financially at a place where I can afford to do that. A few years ago I was in a bind financially and used Consumer Credit to help me budget and get my head back above water. I paid off ALL of my debts except for my CRV about 10 months ago. The CRV will be totally paid off in a few months. There is money in the bank! My head knows all about God providing and God's timing. And just my 2 cents...anyone that actually tells you that in the midst of pain should be shot in my humble opinion.

My heart...well it is making me weep. If you had told me when the ex left that I would raise my children without a mate and would be alone for 15 years....I would have probably given up right then and there.

Imagine Mindy with a DQ outfit on saying *That will be a Hunger Buster with cheese cut the onions, extra pickles. Would you like fries with that?*

Yes, I do have my two children that I love fiercely and that make me *not alone* but there is still an aloneness. It is not the same as having a mate. And I am not talking about just settling for settlings sake....I want the right person.

In my mind, I always thought that he was just around the corner. Going to spring out at anytime and announce that he had come to sweep my off my feet. Well, the years go buy and I keep getting heavier and it is going to be harder for him to do the sweeping. I don't think he is coming. I never dreamed that this is something that I would do without a partner. I wanted someone to turn to and say *hhhmmm....well what do you think about _______________?* Instead, I turn and there is no one there. So I am making this decision on my own and it is almost as scary as the clowns. I am tired of making the big decisions on my own.

So dear friends, it looks as though Mindy is going house hunting.

I know what I should be thinking. I know that I should be just as excited as Drew Carey calling my name on the Price Is Right but I am almost paralyzed with these irrational thoughts.

Please do not mistake this for a pitiful me post. I am just struggling with all of these thoughts and am laying it out there for you to help me make some sense out of everything.

Any suggestions?


  1. Um, sweetie?
    Just because you own a home doen't mean that you are giving up on finding Mr. Right.
    Your Mr. Right could be the man that comes to fix the roof, he could be your new nextdoor neighbor, or your postman.
    Just because you own a home doesn't mean that you've given up on love.
    Just my opinion.

  2. Get yourself a house, girl!

    If that's what you want to do. I'm praying for Mr Right. (I should warn you, however, that when I did this for my sister she married a guy she knew about five months and is now head over heals in love...with him, of course!)

  3. It's not giving up -- just moving to a new phase. You want pets, so get a place where you can have them. maybe the vet is Mr right... besides who says when you meet him he won't be renting an apartment and when you fall madly in love he will need a place to stay and yours will be just right for both of you. OR you decide to sell and buy something together. This is not giving up, I promise! It is an exciting adventure. Celebrate that this is something you can consider and do, a mark of how far you have come, and a declaration of who you are. Think craft rooms (plural on purpose)...

    Cheesehead, can you send some of those prayers this way?

  4. Oh Good Lord! This is yet another plot in your never-ending quest to go home early, isn't it? Like yer having a breakdown or something. Geeze Louise.

    I always knew you were creative, but this is goooood....

  5. Good for you! Moving forward is always a little scary, but it will be worth it. Happy house hunting!

  6. I've known several women who have bought houses and then found wonderful soulmates. Owning real estate is not the end, sweetie. And it could, as others have pointed out, lead to a new beginning.

    And a DOG for you and Bebo!!!!

    praying for a cute, sensitive, apartment-renting veterinarian...

  7. Don't give up on yourself. What a brave, sweet, strong, wonderful woman you are. You have done what very few women can do. You have raised two neat children to productive adulthood all alone. That must seem like a terribly lonely thing right now, but it's also very courageous. There aren't too many men who can walk into that and stand. But there is one and he'll be along shortly. Just keep on keepin' on. You rock!

  8. Who ever really knows when, where or how Mr. Right will come along? Don't let that keep you from moving forward. And, you need a house and pets now; so, go for it!

  9. Yeah, me too. Check the fat club blog. (Cheesehead, pray a love connection prayer for me too, OK?)

  10. Anonymous6:04 PM

    Move across the street from us!!!


  11. Dearest Mindy,

    Re: Love - you have too many rules.

    Re: House - YOU GO GIRL!!!! Way to go!!! I cannot wait to send you house warming stuff. Wooooo Hooooo!

    (hey Cheese: I like "head over heals", much better that way. And now you really need to start a dating prayer service. On the side)

    And Mindy: TWO dogs. Just sayin.

  12. You are awesome. And I am SO happy about the house!! Your own place! Decorate however you want! Animals!!!!

    As for the other, well, you already know feelings don't often make sense. I know this is a huge cliche, but it is really true that Mr. Right comes along when you stop looking for him. Keep on moving forward with your life! Go look for a wonderful house! Think about all your animals!


  13. I am soooo proud of you for looking for a house. I think it is awesome that you are in a place where you can do a major major major thing like this. Brother Bear is so excited for you. And Bunny is right, you never know he could be anywhere. Just because you buy a house doesn't mean that you are giving up. It means that you are strong and you can do things on your own.

    Also, on the whole thing that you are heavier that is bull crap. You have lost a bunch of weight again, and I am so proud of you!!!

  14. I am thrilled to tell you about one of my favorite couples in the whole world:

    She's a teacher, he's an interior designer. She was about 30, still single, decided to buy a house. Mind you, this was about 20 years ago in a very conservative part of the country. NOT only might she have felt like she was giving up, but everyone around her said that owning her own home would scare men away!

    They met a few years later. Have been married ever since. Her little house is theirs now, and it's a beautiful place with a gorgeous garden where they welcome many friends.

  15. You already got my thoughts on this last week.. so just freakin' GO FOR IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. And get that boy A DOG. Boys should have DOGS! I'd recommend ones like mine (they did seem to take to him while y'all were here, lol) BUT I am sure he wants a good ol' west Texas dog. A big ol' farm dog.

  17. I don't believe in love anymore, so I know you don't want my advice.

    I am on the verge of owning my second home, though. "Debt for life" is my new motto.

    Of course, I have a friend you says my soul mate is on the way. She must have gotten stuck in the mud somewhere, because she is late. So you see I don't know what to tell you.

    Good Luck.

  18. Homeownership is a lot of work but it's SO worth it. Maybe you'll get lucky and hook up with the guy that mows your lawn ^0-0^.

    I wish you the best of luck and happiness!

  19. Anonymous12:52 PM

    You know that you can do this all by yourself.....you are strong, strong, love comes ehwn you least expect it....I agree with Rach....you keep you a** at work!!!

  20. I think that once you take this step, you will feel better about it. Personally, I think it is great that you are able to do this on your own. You are independent and capable--perfect qualities for a future relationship, don't you think?


  21. Yay for you!! You rock. Happy house hunting!

    Pets? How about a cat? or two?

  22. I am very excited for you, that you have been able to get to this point, Mindy. Everyone is so right, this does not mean you are giving up, it could lead to a whole new pool of "fish"! Hang in there girl. And do tell us all about the house shopping!

  23. get thee to a house of your own!!!

    All my house buying wisdom can be summed up in two sentences.
    1. Don't skimp on bathrooms--bathtubs are crucial!
    2. If it's not what you want, don't settle for it (just like a man!)!!!!

    I think that's quite enough exclamation points for now, don't you?

  24. Mindy,

    I too have been a single mom for 15 years, and yes the scales tip higher than they did way back then. My son has been on his own (mostly) now for a couple of years and God has recently brought a wonderful man into my life who seems to be a good fit for my independent self. I'm scared to death but enjoying (cautiously) getting to know him. So just enjoy this next step of your life and know that your time is coming.


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