Let's Talk About My Boobs

 Well, I see that got your attention.  

October is breast cancer awareness month.  I am a firm believer (~snickers~  firm...get it?) in checking your breast at least once a month.  Don't know how to do that?  You can check that out HERE and HERE.  Seriously, you need to do that.  Don't leave it up to your partner.  Do it.  

Along with checking your breast, you need to have REGULAR mammograms.   I know...I know....You have heard all of the horror stories about how much it hurts and how awful it is.

Trust me...it isn't.  

When you are built like a healthy Russian peasant woman and you have a grandmother that had breast cancer, it is VERY important to do both.  

I began having mammograms when I turned 40 years old.  At the VERY FIRST ONE, they found a lump in my left breast.  Within a week I was in surgery having it removed.  It was the size of a hen's egg and benign.    Thank the little sweet baby Jesus!!

So here I am....living my life....getting my boobs smashed yearly....feeling myself up at least once a month (hubba hubba) when it happened.

I found a lump.

On Thursday, September 4 2014, I found what I had been looking for and never ever wanted to find.  The MINUTE it happened, I jerked my hand away and whispered a prayer.  Then, I touched myself again.

DAMMIT.

There was a lump at the top of my left breast and I could feel it with no pressure.  Plus, the skin on top of it was red.  I managed to get out of the shower and get ready for work.  At 8:30, I called and scheduled a mammogram and told them what I had found. They could not get me in until the following Tuesday.  I thanked them and hung up kind of stunned.  I don't know what I was thinking but I guess I thought that they would roll out the red carpet and hurry me in.  I called my Physicians Assistant (who I LOVE dearly!!) and left a message for her.  She called me back and got me in for that Monday.

I love my mammogram tech.  Truly.  She has been the one to squish my boobs for all these years.  Every year she tells me *This should NEVER EVER hurt.  You tell me if it does and I'll stop and readjust. *  And I know she means that.  I mean, come one now, we all know it won't be comfortable.  This is not something every woman says *Heck YEAH!  Sign me UP!*  I know so many women who refuse to get checked because they think it will hurt.  Well, let me tell you this....I have never HAD cancer but, I know it would hurt.  If you can do something to stay ahead of the game then, do it.  If it does hurt, speak up.  If they do not listen to you, go somewhere else next time.  The point is....do it.

 I told me tech what I had found and she was reassuring. She took her films and then suggested that I not get dressed in case we had to do a sonogram.  Then she left me alone in that room  in that LOVELY would not fit any woman that I know open in the front paper gown for about eleventy-seven thousand seconds.  She came back in and said....there is NOTHING at all showing up.  I offered up my left breast and said *here*.  She barely touched my breast and felt it.  She then told me that she would move me to the next room immediately for the sonogram.

The sonogram started and it was immediately found.  They sonogramed the HECK out of my left breast.  And he said....nothing.  He told  me to get dressed and to come talk to him in his office.  I quietly did as I was told.  In his office, there was BIG PICS of both of my boobs already up.  It really was fascinating!!  He showed me everything.  He circles spots and compared them to last years films.  Then he told me that he would not worry about it at all.  His suggestion was that I come back in 6 months.  At that time I could wear that sexy paper gown again and we could play the hungry hungry hippo game again.

You know what?  That is EXACTLY what I wanted to here.  I wanted to hear no biggie!!  Let's do nothing!!  I was okay with that.  I quickly picked up my purse and got myself out of of there before he changed his mind.

So back to work I go.  Sitting there minding my own business when, who should call me not 40 minutes later?!?!?  My Physicians Assistant.  I answered thinking that she was going to congratulate me and my boob.  

She didn't.
 



....I have 2 boobs so you get this in 2 parts.  ~winks~