CLOWN ALLERGIES
I don't like clowns.
But then, most of you already know that. For a person that is allergic to clowns, I certainly talk about them a lot. I guess you could say that they are almost a theme for me. They just keep riding in on their little stinky clown cars and I keep opening the doors for them.
You can get the low down on my aversion here. It explains my first run in with a clown. It did not go well. Go ahead, you can look....it's safe.
Man, I miss me some Piggly Wiggly.
I got to go to Portland again this year. No Piggly Wiggly there either. I was having a great time hanging out at Portland Market and pretending that I lived there when, what do I spy with my little eye?
Yeah, you know where this is going.....
Clowns. ~shudders~ Not just one clown. A wholemurder, terror, cesspool gaggle, puddle, alley of clowns.
~SHUDDERS~
Kim suggested that I make friends. I thought Kim had lost her pea pickin' ever lovin' mind. Kim wandered off to talk to the clown. TALK TO THE CLOWN. It did not eat her.
Thank goodness because she had the keys. I would have had to have hooked up with a local pirate and got him to take me to the airport so that I could get home.
For reals, Portland has pirates. I saw them. Never once did I think that they would chase or eat me. The aaarrrrggggg kind....not the hockey time.
The clown and Kim came a little closer and then the clown talked to me. OMG she talked to me. No fangs. No passing out.
She told me that she was going to hug me. ~gulp~ Then she quickly said *No, I am going to let you hug me. That way, you can let go any time you need to.*
Well...hell.
I stopped breathing and went in for the hug. I suspect it was much like how people feel when they bungee jump. I put my arms around her and she was trembling....and tiny.....and was afraid of upsetting me. Wow. She hugged me and....I hugged her back.
That's not to say I am going to make a habit of hugging clowns. I don't even intent to make eye contact with them! But, somewhere in Portland, there is a tiny clown with a sweet heart and soul that made a tiny bit of difference.
Please, don't show up on my porch dressed as a clown. I'll kick your butt.
But then, most of you already know that. For a person that is allergic to clowns, I certainly talk about them a lot. I guess you could say that they are almost a theme for me. They just keep riding in on their little stinky clown cars and I keep opening the doors for them.
You can get the low down on my aversion here. It explains my first run in with a clown. It did not go well. Go ahead, you can look....it's safe.
Man, I miss me some Piggly Wiggly.
I got to go to Portland again this year. No Piggly Wiggly there either. I was having a great time hanging out at Portland Market and pretending that I lived there when, what do I spy with my little eye?
Yeah, you know where this is going.....
Clowns. ~shudders~ Not just one clown. A whole
~SHUDDERS~
Kim suggested that I make friends. I thought Kim had lost her pea pickin' ever lovin' mind. Kim wandered off to talk to the clown. TALK TO THE CLOWN. It did not eat her.
Thank goodness because she had the keys. I would have had to have hooked up with a local pirate and got him to take me to the airport so that I could get home.
For reals, Portland has pirates. I saw them. Never once did I think that they would chase or eat me. The aaarrrrggggg kind....not the hockey time.
The clown and Kim came a little closer and then the clown talked to me. OMG she talked to me. No fangs. No passing out.
She told me that she was going to hug me. ~gulp~ Then she quickly said *No, I am going to let you hug me. That way, you can let go any time you need to.*
Well...hell.
I stopped breathing and went in for the hug. I suspect it was much like how people feel when they bungee jump. I put my arms around her and she was trembling....and tiny.....and was afraid of upsetting me. Wow. She hugged me and....I hugged her back.
That's not to say I am going to make a habit of hugging clowns. I don't even intent to make eye contact with them! But, somewhere in Portland, there is a tiny clown with a sweet heart and soul that made a tiny bit of difference.
Please, don't show up on my porch dressed as a clown. I'll kick your butt.
Oh, that is so sweet! This is just the beginning of the desensitization process! :)
ReplyDeleteLook at you being all optimistic and stuff. ~clown free zone~
DeleteI am never going to let you hug me. I am going to hug you. That way, I get to hold on.
ReplyDeleteI am totally okay with that....more than ok. That way I won't float away.
DeleteFunny. I like your writing style. Look forward to tomorrow. :)
ReplyDeleteThe Piggly Wiggly superstore in Lubbock had a clown. He was once a neighbor of my parents so I kinda knew "Goey". He made balloon animals for free. Now, that clown/spider thing in "It" made me rethink clowns that act alone. Loved your post. Keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteGoey ~shudders~ Thank you sweetie!
DeleteAh. Excellent. The picture says it all.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
Love you too!
Delete
ReplyDeleteoh I am right there with you Mindy! Eeeuuuu. You are much braver than me.
She was really so sweet.
DeleteI see the circus in your future.
ReplyDeleteOh honey, the circus lives in my backyard. ;)
DeleteI remember the first time we took my son to the circus and I had to try to be all cool-mom, "honey, isn't the clown fun?" when I really wanted to yell, "run, baby boy, run!". Yeah, I'm a dork.
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to getting to know you!
I TOTALLY understand that Shelby! You were so brave!
DeleteAnd I you!
I love your writing....you had me right there with you, loathing the clowns!
ReplyDelete