Thursday, April 19, 2012

Purgatory Day 2

Dear Diary,
Day 2 in this dark and dreary place.  Actually it is not even a full 48 hours but it seems like an eternity.  It is cold.  I have had very limited contact with the outside world.  I fear that my friends have already forgotten me. In fact, since shunning facebook, I have only had contact with my friends here at the office, a comment from Annie and a brief google chat with Sara.  I am afraid that Sara read the desperation in my message and is now praying that her name does not show up on my available list. ~grins~

I lie.  I actually ventured on to facebook to order a salad from Casseroles To Go.  A girl can only give up so much.  I have not had a diet coke or any kind of cola since 1/1/2012...don't mess with my food too.

My brain feels dizzy without constant stimulation.  I have no idea who is winning what ever game they are playing, posted a new cute puppy video or if someone has tagged me in a post.

I had to find out Dick Clark died the old fashioned way....the news.

I had a fitful nights sleep.  I finally got up at 4:30am and wandered into the living room and turned on the lap top.  I automatically began signing into facebook....old habits are hard to break.

So what does the now unpopular girl who is not on facebook do at 4:30am when she cannot sleep?  She cleans out junk drawers.

Drawer 1  Before......

After:  I have no idea as to why I have so much chalk.  I do not own one chalk board.  This is not even the grandboys chalk.  I have big buckets of that for them elsewhere. 

Drawer 2  ....look....more chalk.


Yes my junk drawers are clean but my heart is empty. 

A guy reported today and had on a t shirt that had the facebook *like* button on the front.  I had to keep myself from reaching out and clicking it.  Wouldn't he of been surprised.

I will be stong.  I will fight the urge for now.  Maybe I will get the rest of my house cleaned.

Damned facebook. 

Friday, April 13, 2012

What Love Looks Like 4/13/12

I have never seen the ocean.   I have seen the Gulf of Mexico but not an actual honest to goodness have ocean in it's name ocean.  My friend Lori has.  She practically lives on the ocean.  Every day she finds treasures and healing in the water and the sand. 

She also knows that I have long wanted a heart rock.  Finding one has been on my bucket list for forever.

Since I cannot find time to go to the ocean yet, thought she has told me several times that I am welcome to come to her house and stay...she sent pieces of the ocean and the beach to me.

Look at all of these little heart rocks that she has collected!  I put them in a deep frame and now they are on the cabinet in my bathroom so that I can see them every day.

See that sweet little heart in the middle.  Every day I get to look at it and know that Lori touched it.  She picked it up off of the beach and carried it home just for me.

These are just a few of the shells and the sea glass that she has sent to me.  They almost look too pretty to be real don't they?!?!!?  One of these days, I am going to make a pendant out of the sea glass.

Lori did not have to share with me.  She has a busy life and things that are pressing as far as time is concerned.  But she took that time for me.  She carved out time just for bring me sweet joy.

Friday, April 06, 2012

What Love Looks Like 4/6/12

It has been a really rough week.  I was totally blindsided by clowns.  My instinct told me that I was playing with clowns but they looked so nice and said all the right words.  Then, because of their actions, I had to do away with something that I believed in and had worked hard for.  There has been a lot of tears.  There have been many searches for my big girl panties. 

At the end of this week.....peace came.

Last Saturday, before the Circus started,  I went to a garage sale that one of my friends, Phyllis, was working at.  I looked ravishingly lovely with  my hair askew and no make up on.   Phyllis handed me a pretty little cotton bag and said *here, I got ya something*.  

She had taken the time to look through my pinterest and find my board *Yes you may buy me this*.  ~laffin~  Why yes I am a shy person.  Why would you ask me that?  Anyway....back to my story.  And she had bought me this leather bracelet that I wanted so badly from jewelry artist Laurel Denise.  Click HERE to go to her store.  The bracelet says "She lives life in her own fairytale".  Totally me right?!?!?!?

Photo from Laurel Denise's web site with her gracious permission!

When she gave me this bracelet last Saturday, neither she nor I realized what a life line it would be for me.  I have worn it all week and it has given me strength.

Sometimes I don't think we realize how much our acts of kindness mean to people.  Actions, words, gifts and tokens can be talismans when those clowns come around. 

This little bracelet gave me some supernatural power this week.  It helped me to finally find my big girl panties, dry my eyes and recognize that goodness and love win every.single.time.

This week, this little bracelet is what love looked like to me.

Thursday, April 05, 2012


I had a fun time teasing all my friends last weekend on facebook with pictures of dough and rolls.  ~grins~  So I thought the least I can do now is share my recipe.  I have had the recipe of YEARS so I have no idea where it originally came from.  I have tweaked it several times until it is mine....and I am happy with it. 

1 envelope dry yeast
2 Tab sugar
1/4 C warm water
1/2 C sugar
1/4 C butter
1tsp salt
1 C hot milk
1 egg, lightly beaten
4 1/3 C flour
2 Tab I swear that is all I used  I promise melted butter
Use as much butter as you want....I cannot lie....I used more than 2 Tab

Sprinkle the yeast and sugar over the very warm water in a large bowl.  Do NOT leave the sugar out.  A lot of recipes do not mix yeast with suger but TRUST ME....your yeast will love you for it!   Stir until the yeast dissolves.  Let cool a bit.  In a pan, heat your milk and allow your 1/4 C butter to melt it in.  Also allow to cool down until it is just warm.  Add your milk mixture to your yeast mixture then add in your egg.  Beat in your 4 1/3 C of flour 1 cup at a time with your wet ingredients until you get a soft dough.  You can then turn your dough out on your board and knead it for about 5 minutes.  I just leave mine in my kitchen aide mixer (I would marry it if I could) and let it run a few minutes with the dough hook.  Place your beautiful dough in a warm greased bowl and allow it to rise until it has doubled.  You can then punch it down and make your rolls.  Place your rolls in a butter greased pan and allow them to rise.  Bake in a 350 degree over for 15-20 minutes until a pretty golden color and your family is standing around the oven holding a jelly jar.

I then like to slather them with butter while they are still hot.

This is a really forgiving easy dough.  I let mine rise the first time and then punched them down and made hot rolls.  Then, instead of letting them rise again, I put waxed paper over the top and put them in the fridge.  Took them out the next morning and let them warm up and rise.  Then we cooked them and ATE THEM all gone!!

People are afraid of yeast and making bread....I promise you it is not hard!!