Phillip came in for his office visit. Very nice young man...just seems to have lost his way once upon a time but is working really hard to find it again. He is covered in tattoos and piercings. I like those kind of people....free thinkers.

We had a good office visit. We talked about things going on in his life and what he is doing to change some things. He told me about the people that he is having to get rid of because they are not good for him. That is a really good sign when people realize that they have people in their lives that they no longer need or that are unhealthy for him. I told him that I would need for him to submit a UA before he left. He told me no problem and got up to leave my office. At this point, I am sitting at my desk and he is standing. He reaches into his pocket to get out his car keys. As he pulls the keys out....a shiny blue foil unopened condom JUMPS out of his pocket and lands directly in the middle of my desk....halfway between the both of us.

Do you remember back when you were in school and it was like 4 minutes until the bell was going to ring and free you for the last of the day? And how those 4 minutes equalled 27 years in 8 year old time?

Yes that is how it felt in my office as TIME.STOOD.STILL.

He looked at the small package twinkling innocently on my desk.

I looked at the package.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

He looked up at me.

I met his gaze.

He gulped and quickly looked down again.

I kept on looking.

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

The condom lay like a big ole elephant on my desk.

He blinked.

I blinked.

He opened his mouth again and stammered.

I finally found my voice and exclaimed *I am SO proud of you!!! You are not at a place in your life that you need kids NOR do you need a STD! Way to take care of yourself!! Plus, way to take care of your partner!*

Instead of my proclamation making things EASIER for Phillip it had the opposite effect. He made him blush and stammer that much more.

He grabbed up the condom from the desk (quick thinking ! Would not want to leave THAT behind!) and BACKED OUT OF MY OFFICE mumbling his thanks.

I bet I know one friend he is not getting rid of. *grins.


  1. LOL
    You are so amazing. And HI-larious!

  2. That is THE BEST! Love the last line! ha ha haaaa!

  3. Bwahahahahahaaa!!



    I love your response, btw.

  4. Oh, man.... poor guy. How totally embarrassing! But, I love your comment. I'm afraid I'd have just stared at it and continued to blink and blush!

  5. hee hee! You do some pretty good thinkin' on your feet!

  6. That is hysterial!

  7. LMAO!! Better reading about that happening to you than me.. all kinds of things come flying out of E's pockets sometimes when he's looking for something... so far no condoms though. A fact for which I am, so far, eternally grateful.

  8. OMg, its even funnier when you wrote it than when you told me it last night. Lol, poor "Phillip". Hey no glove no love.

  9. The closest work story I have compared to this one is...we were brainstorming compound words. A little girl volunteered "Woodpecker! Wood! and Pecker!" I really tried not to lose it.

  10. That is a GREAT story!!!

  11. That is too funny! I bet time did stand still!

  12. Anonymous5:35 AM

    That is the funniest thing I've heard all month!!
    I would have crawled under the desk!
    (Glad you're back)

  13. of all the things that could have come out of his pocket...crack pipes, switchblade...a condom is the best. The fact that he had it in his front pocket means he was really anxious and expecting to use it soon, n'est ce pas? Otherwise, it was backpocket material. She was probably in the car.

  14. Great response! I probably would have been redder than a fire engine and then screamed - at least someone is getting some.

    Some people just have it - YOU! and some don't ME.

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  16. I love me some tats. I think they often get a bad wrap.

    What a cool job to help people try to get back on the right track.

    Laughing out loud about the condom, though. What else could you say?!

  17. Hilarious! Great recovery on your part, too.

  18. That was a great response.

  19. That's too funny. You are so much fun.


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