You just may be the next big winner....
More and more I am becoming aware of the masks that I wear. I see more and more the mask that others wear. I believe, at times, we realize that we are talking to a mask but are too afraid to invest the time to find the person behind the mask. I am working very hard to make myself vulnerable and to remove my mask and let others see the real me. My friends know me and I am comfortable and honest around them. This past week, I was given gifts that the givers did not even know that they gave to me.
#1. I received an email and it began by saying *Beloved*. I was not the only one that received that email but that word struck a cord deep within my heart. God has really been working in my life and he used this person and that word to bring me close. I am not anyone's earthly *beloved*. I get hung up in that a lot. I once remember, after the ex left, talking to a dear man who was trying to encourage me. He said, *If God had told me then that I would be single for 10 years....Well, I just could not have done this. However, the last 10 years has been the best in my life and in my walk.* I can remember thinking *I will DIE if God makes me stay single for the next 10 years. I need a mate. My children need a father. Surely a loving God will place a good man in my life!!*. It has been almost 13 years now. I know I know...In God's time. But that is not always a comfort. God used that word and that email to remind me that I am Beloved.
#2. My Sunday School class is going through some changes. In fact, the entire Church is making these changes. If everyone does what they are supposed to do, this will be a wonderful thing for the Church. I have had to email my Sunday School teacher several times over the past week concerning the changes and what I am to do in my position. I have been in counseling with he and his wife. They know me. They know my sins and my struggles. In one email he writes, *I am so thankful that I get to know you.*. I sat at my computer and cried when I read that. Particularly because I know that he and his wife truly mean that. He would never lie about that. They are glad that I am in their lives. Some background on this....I am the only single person in an entire glass of married people. They have always welcomed me and never shunned me for being single. You do not think that is a big deal? I have been in classes where I felt as though I should be wearing a sign that read *UNCLEAN UNCLEAN*. The other reason it meant so much is because it validated me.
#3. Rach and I were talking the other day. She said that she did not realize how many places or things that she was granted entry into just because she is married. That now she understands how I feel at times and *can get angry for me*. She understands. My friends really do understand and I know that. But to hear someone say that meant the world to me.
Point is, none of those 3 different people knew what was going on in my life at the time. None of them did or said the things that they said to encourage me or lift me up. But it did. This week I have learned that the big things are not usually the hard things. It was the little things, the seemingly insignificant things that these people did that counted. They STOPPED and DID it. They invested just a tiny bit of time. Did it cost them anything? Nope. Did they have to go out of their way? No I do not think so. They were just themselves. And in being themselves....They gave me a gift that I have missed for such a long time.
#1. I received an email and it began by saying *Beloved*. I was not the only one that received that email but that word struck a cord deep within my heart. God has really been working in my life and he used this person and that word to bring me close. I am not anyone's earthly *beloved*. I get hung up in that a lot. I once remember, after the ex left, talking to a dear man who was trying to encourage me. He said, *If God had told me then that I would be single for 10 years....Well, I just could not have done this. However, the last 10 years has been the best in my life and in my walk.* I can remember thinking *I will DIE if God makes me stay single for the next 10 years. I need a mate. My children need a father. Surely a loving God will place a good man in my life!!*. It has been almost 13 years now. I know I know...In God's time. But that is not always a comfort. God used that word and that email to remind me that I am Beloved.
#2. My Sunday School class is going through some changes. In fact, the entire Church is making these changes. If everyone does what they are supposed to do, this will be a wonderful thing for the Church. I have had to email my Sunday School teacher several times over the past week concerning the changes and what I am to do in my position. I have been in counseling with he and his wife. They know me. They know my sins and my struggles. In one email he writes, *I am so thankful that I get to know you.*. I sat at my computer and cried when I read that. Particularly because I know that he and his wife truly mean that. He would never lie about that. They are glad that I am in their lives. Some background on this....I am the only single person in an entire glass of married people. They have always welcomed me and never shunned me for being single. You do not think that is a big deal? I have been in classes where I felt as though I should be wearing a sign that read *UNCLEAN UNCLEAN*. The other reason it meant so much is because it validated me.
#3. Rach and I were talking the other day. She said that she did not realize how many places or things that she was granted entry into just because she is married. That now she understands how I feel at times and *can get angry for me*. She understands. My friends really do understand and I know that. But to hear someone say that meant the world to me.
Point is, none of those 3 different people knew what was going on in my life at the time. None of them did or said the things that they said to encourage me or lift me up. But it did. This week I have learned that the big things are not usually the hard things. It was the little things, the seemingly insignificant things that these people did that counted. They STOPPED and DID it. They invested just a tiny bit of time. Did it cost them anything? Nope. Did they have to go out of their way? No I do not think so. They were just themselves. And in being themselves....They gave me a gift that I have missed for such a long time.
Mindy, what wonderful affirmations! I'm happy for you. And, yes, I do know what you mean about the Sunday School class. Been there and done that. It is amazing how weird church people can be about the single in their married midst. I'm glad this class is different.
ReplyDeleteI'm still pissed when I think about this. It shouldn't be easier to be accepted just because you are paired.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had some good things coming your way!
What wonderful friends! Thanks for the reminder that it can be difficult for the single person to feel truly a part of the church.
ReplyDeleteI love how sweet things happen to us (if we are alert and realize what is happening. I hope we are all vessels of good things for others. Love this post!
ReplyDeleteTerminal Degree talks a lot about "Noah's Ark" weddings and churches, too. Actually for that matter, the whole dang country, right down to the tax law is set up for pairs of people. Which is, of course, why it's so irritating to be in a couple and not be recognized as being a couple. And so exhausting to be the single person. It's hard enough to feel complete in your own heart without the world telling you that you are an orphaned shoe in the lost and found (to quote Mary Chapin Carpenter). hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI'm quickly catching up with blog friends tonight, but yours is the first one I've felt compelled to respond to. You are indeed Beloved by us all! It is wonderful, isn't it, to get those God-messages just when they're needed.
ReplyDeleteHi Mindy (Beloved Princess of Everything!), I am so glad you were able to receive these gifts and that you have made note of them here. Sometimes it is those small, seemingly insignificant things that stay with us the longest.
ReplyDeleteOh Mindy, beloved daughter of God, beloved friend, ... your words warmed my soul and woke up my spirit this morning
ReplyDeleteThis was a wonderful post to read. So encouraging too. I thank you for sharing your heart, and yes becoming visible and transparent.
There is hurt there,we can all feel it for you, and wish it had been different. But I am also encouraged that God walks with you, and your words remind me that He walks with us in our own struggles too.
Be blessed today and everyday
I really enjoyed reading your post. God blesses us just the way we need it and when. It's awesome! And it also makes me realize that I need to listen to Him so that I can be a part of blessing someone else!
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much for your outpouring of love. I do not for one moment think that the Church does that on purpose. I think society is just plugged into it. PPB said it even better than I did. I am glad to count you all as friends.
ReplyDeleteI've never really told you this, but you have commented on my blog and left some real precious gems for me. You have a way of just saying the thing I need to hear, just when I need to hear it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that the universe is giving back to you.
You are indeed, beloved.
Praise our God who never leaves us comfortless . . . your words confirmed some of my own experience recently as I deal with my upcoming unemployment. God seems to have "imbedded" certain people, e-mails, articles, scripture through my days to buoy up my soul. May it continue to be so with you as well, sister.
ReplyDeleteMindy, you ARE beloved. By many. Me among them. You have said things to me, in email and in comments, that have made me feel special all day long, and you had no idea.
ReplyDeleteIt's payback time! Enjoy the little blessings.
Appreciation and gratitude are so important. These people touched you, and you validated that. One person starts a good thing, and it just rolls on and on. You are a good person. You deserve the support!
ReplyDeleteI know it has been hard for you, but I cannot think of anyone that has been a better Mom, and been able to play the part of both parents better than you have. I love you so much.
ReplyDeleteT'would the mire of blarney be 'nough to smite the stone's lone soul? How shalt thy eyes behold the truthes of years lest all be called a folly? The watching see wist thou comest and knoweth thine repose. Lest all be lost and called a worthless rue, how else the colors come. When dids't the pale one ride from Ire to hale the final quest? Be thou the least to follow hence, or most to lead the throng? Thy moores sway full and blusteon fruitless swales broke through. Hast thou the thresh both on or bottom thorns. Be more to 'hold the past 'ere morn break never thru. Halt! Blood none shall be'held quoth even lesser strong. Gone be more no than dawn.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog from Kelly's site and am just in love with the very first post I read. You remind me very much of a dear friend who is single and is the most beautiful testimony of God's care and provision - I'm so glad you have friends who care for you so deeply. I'm off now to email my friend and call her beloved.
ReplyDeleteTons of hugs and appreciation from here too, Mindy...so glad that God sent you a few reminders of your status as a beloved daughter. And surely better to be whole, loved and single than miserably married...but yes, the way society counts in two's is thoughtless and can be destructive.
ReplyDeleteMore hugs