Bits and Pieces of Conversations I was in or over heard

I have already been called a bitch this morning so I am thinking that the day can only go up from here! I am just going to spread sunshine where ever I go.


Ester at lunch yesterday *Ya'll NEVER listen to the short hispanic girl!*

Teacher works the GED lab in our office. You will never met a sweeter person in your entire life. She never has anything bad to say about any person, place or thing. She is just a joy! She tells the story about riding in a pick-up with several people and everyone is talking. Woman beside Teacher says *I used to be a Mann.*. Teacher heard it as *I used to be a man.*. Reaches out and pats the woman and says *Oh hunny, that is alright.*. 30 miles down the road later she REALIZES what the woman actually meant that the woman's maiden name was Mann and not that the woman had a sex change operation.

BeBo last night at 7:00 after eatting an entire chicken fried steak supper. *I am really hungry.* Me *you can have fruit.* Him *I want ice cream.* Me *you can have some at 8.* 7:10 Him *Can I have snack now?* Me *No, at 8.* 7:20 Him *can I have snack now?* Me *No at 8.* Him *I sure wish that you were more like your Mother.*

M2 yesterday *Ya'll really think that I am aggressive?* This coming from a woman that took a communion wafer away from an older teenage boy during the Lord's Supper because she thought that he was being disrespectful.

Rose says *Where is Ester?* I pop off without thinking *She went to get her legs waxed. Hispanic women always get their legs waxed because the hair on their legs is so coarse and grows so fast that it is hard to shave.* Rose ~blink blink~ *OMG...really?* Me *yep* I have known Ester for all of these years and I never knew that!* Me *I thought that everyone knew that Rose.* Rose now wide eyed with wonder wanders back to her office. Later that day Rose to Ester *Did it hurt?* ~blink blink~ Ester (totally clueless cause she knows nothing bout the AM conversation) *Did what hurt?* Rose whispers due to the delicate nature of leg waxing, *You know...your legs.* Ester is now wondering what the hell is wrong with her legs and why have we not told her that something is wrong with her legs. Rose says *You know...the leg waxing cause your hair is so coarse and it is hard for you to shave.* Ester *What the HELL are you taling about Rose?* Side note...Ester does not and has never waxed her legs.

M2 this morning ~whines~ *Look, my shoes look like big ole pimp shoes!!* Me *No they don't. What do pimp shoes look like M2? * Her whining as she goes on down the hall *Yes they do and pimp shoes look just like the shoes that I have on.* Me thinking *where do pimps buy their pimp shoes at?*

Rach *How can this day get better? We have pizza for lunch. We have ice cream for snack. I have a Dr. Pepper straight up. We have a flying monkey. ~sighs~ I love this place.*

Rach yesterday to a client * YOU HAD BETTER STOP THINKING YOU ARE A PRINCESS AND YOU BETTER STARTING LOOKING FOR YOU A JOB AT THE PRINCESS BOUTIQUE!*


Me to Ester......*eeerrrmmm....your new guy is slow*. Ester *Yes, yes he is!! He does not even know what his address is. Says he is living with Kathy. I asked Kathy who? He does not Kathy's last name?!?!?* M2 to Ester, *You should have said OH THAT Kathy. Kathy that lives in STUPIDVILLE.....on JACKASS LANE.*

Laney Poo (on of BG's friends daughter) to Baby Gator: *BG, you have to be really careful of those hot llamas!* BG *Hot llamas?* Laney *YES! Hot llamas.* BG, *Laney have yall been studying hot llamas at school?* *Uh huh...careful of the hot llama.* BG *eerrmmmm okay baby. But what do you mean hot llamas?* You have to understand that my daddy used to work part time at a game preserve and BG grew up around llamas and other types of exoctic animals and she knows that llama spit a nasty spit but she has never heard of a llama being dangerous while heated. Laney then told her *YOU KNOW, the llama that comes out of the volcano...the hot llama!*

Why don't we all meet up at the Princess Boutique for ice cream! Please just watch out for the hot llama as you cross the street.

Comments

  1. Lol, I laughed and laughed. And the beginning og the hot llama conversation was..."Ma'am becareful this plate is hot." Laney Pooh "Yeah BG hot like llamas. Hot llamas are very VERY hot." No llamas were hurt in the making of this blog.

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  2. MAN you know some characters.

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  3. I got some tee-hees I desperately needed from this!

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  4. Ooo, ooo, ice cream. Yeah, let's go. You can tell more stories. I'm laughing....

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  5. I'll never be able to take communion with a straight face again. Those nuns from catholic school got nuthin' on M2!

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  6. You are killing me. I better go get some ice cream from the Princess Boutique to calm myself down. I'll be taking my hot llama with me. You know, me and my llama.

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  7. Why did you publish MY Address. I keep Jackass Lane to myself....
    BTW, I got a bookmark from RevMom/Cheesehead!
    So much fun!!! Thanks for thinking of this!

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  8. The llama thing and the waxing, too! Too funny!!

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  9. Maybe that person really called you a "witch" or thought your name was "mitch" or said, "Hey, watch out for that ditch" - I don't know, just thought it goes nicely with your other stories which made me laugh today!

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