WHEN SHE WAS GOOD, SHE WAS VERY VERY GOOD BUT......
This has been a weirdly difficult week for me. I am working hard at not being all butt hurt and feeling sorry for myself. When I feel sorry for myself, I begin to feel selfish. Feeling selfish makes me doubt myself and put myself down. That in turn, makes me nuts. I am already walking the crazy tight rope as it is. I hate how I am feeling.
Wash, rinse and repeat.
While I am working on myself and my attitudes, I decided to write out a handy list for y'all to print out and keep up with when dealing with me. ;) You might want to make an extra copy.
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT SAY TO MINDY
1. This too shall pass. Please.....please....for the love of all that is good and holy. If you do not want to make me lose my shit all up in this place....do not speak those words out loud to me. I would rather you leave 12 shopping carts around my car all willy nilly in the Wal Mart parking lot than tell me those words. Yes, this may pass. It might not. But, what ever happens, I will handle it......just like I always have.
* My children and my brother think it is HILARIOUS to say this to me now. I think it is because they enjoy seeing me twitch.
2. Everything happens for a reason. I don't believe this. I do believe that, despite how awful something might be, we can try to make positive things occur out of the chaos.
3. When are you going to find a man and settle down? ~gives you a look~ You don't know me very well do you?
4. God is always in control. Again, something I do not believe. I am a Christian and do believe that God can always be in control. However, due to free will, he is not. If God was in control, we would not have to sit through this bizarre election season.
5. You need to _( fill in the blank )_. If you see a problem, I suggest that you fix it yourself. I am 53 years old and I am pretty darned smart. I do not need you to run my life. Okay, that might be a lie. I might need you to run my life but you are going to have to pay all my bills in exchange.
6. Love the sinner but hate the sin. Pardon me, this is a no high horse parking zone. You are going to have to move on along and find a 24 hour self righteous parking garages. It is a very busy area so it might take you awhile.
7. You must have a foot fetish with all of those foot pictures you post. Actually no, feet are not my fetish. However, I do like my own feet. But not in a LIKE LIKE kind of a way. As I have explained before, my feet normally look really good. My hair and face on the other hand, not always photo ready. It just became a thing for me. Makes for some great shots. It has also made me remember some memories more vividly. I am always looking for unique things that I can photo with my feet in the pic. It makes me more in the moment. On face book, I normally lose a *friend* when I post a foot selfie. However, it becomes a smash hit number one search if I post one on the blog. It follows closely behind the *Amarillo hookers* search. I swear I have never been a hooker....in Amarillo or any place else.
8. Well, at least you already got to _(__fill in the blank___). That doesn't make it any easier. When I give up something for you, your response should be Thank you very much. You do not have to gush or thank me profusely. Nor is it my place to make you feel better about me having to change my plans to help you. Your justifying it *because I have already gotten to do it before* is not a proper thank you.
9. It was never supposed to be like this. No, it wasn't. That makes me sad too. I am not sure how it was supposed to be. I know that we have to make the best of what we have. If we do that, we can have a happy productive life. If we don't, well, it is rather long and hard with all the fretting, worrying and magical thinking isn't it?
What would be on your list?
If magical thinking worked, I would have a whole herd of llamas and unicorns. I would have the non-spitting llama variety. They also would not poop. Not in the constipated way. And I would have lots of money. And Ann Richards would be President. But she would be like 60 years old.
Wash, rinse and repeat.
While I am working on myself and my attitudes, I decided to write out a handy list for y'all to print out and keep up with when dealing with me. ;) You might want to make an extra copy.
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT SAY TO MINDY
1. This too shall pass. Please.....please....for the love of all that is good and holy. If you do not want to make me lose my shit all up in this place....do not speak those words out loud to me. I would rather you leave 12 shopping carts around my car all willy nilly in the Wal Mart parking lot than tell me those words. Yes, this may pass. It might not. But, what ever happens, I will handle it......just like I always have.
* My children and my brother think it is HILARIOUS to say this to me now. I think it is because they enjoy seeing me twitch.
2. Everything happens for a reason. I don't believe this. I do believe that, despite how awful something might be, we can try to make positive things occur out of the chaos.
3. When are you going to find a man and settle down? ~gives you a look~ You don't know me very well do you?
4. God is always in control. Again, something I do not believe. I am a Christian and do believe that God can always be in control. However, due to free will, he is not. If God was in control, we would not have to sit through this bizarre election season.
5. You need to _( fill in the blank )_. If you see a problem, I suggest that you fix it yourself. I am 53 years old and I am pretty darned smart. I do not need you to run my life. Okay, that might be a lie. I might need you to run my life but you are going to have to pay all my bills in exchange.
6. Love the sinner but hate the sin. Pardon me, this is a no high horse parking zone. You are going to have to move on along and find a 24 hour self righteous parking garages. It is a very busy area so it might take you awhile.
7. You must have a foot fetish with all of those foot pictures you post. Actually no, feet are not my fetish. However, I do like my own feet. But not in a LIKE LIKE kind of a way. As I have explained before, my feet normally look really good. My hair and face on the other hand, not always photo ready. It just became a thing for me. Makes for some great shots. It has also made me remember some memories more vividly. I am always looking for unique things that I can photo with my feet in the pic. It makes me more in the moment. On face book, I normally lose a *friend* when I post a foot selfie. However, it becomes a smash hit number one search if I post one on the blog. It follows closely behind the *Amarillo hookers* search. I swear I have never been a hooker....in Amarillo or any place else.
8. Well, at least you already got to _(__fill in the blank___). That doesn't make it any easier. When I give up something for you, your response should be Thank you very much. You do not have to gush or thank me profusely. Nor is it my place to make you feel better about me having to change my plans to help you. Your justifying it *because I have already gotten to do it before* is not a proper thank you.
9. It was never supposed to be like this. No, it wasn't. That makes me sad too. I am not sure how it was supposed to be. I know that we have to make the best of what we have. If we do that, we can have a happy productive life. If we don't, well, it is rather long and hard with all the fretting, worrying and magical thinking isn't it?
What would be on your list?
If magical thinking worked, I would have a whole herd of llamas and unicorns. I would have the non-spitting llama variety. They also would not poop. Not in the constipated way. And I would have lots of money. And Ann Richards would be President. But she would be like 60 years old.
I love you! That's all i got.
ReplyDeleteI love you! That's all i got.
ReplyDeleteThat is well worth printing. Yup.
ReplyDeleteI hope you survive without killing someone. They might need killing, but, you know, its all wrong and shit. For the most part...
;)
Just remember the 'i can't poop in public' mantra. It's gotten you this far.
(o)
ReplyDeleteI wish we could get together and just hang out.
I LOVE this list. I think these are things that nobody should say to anyone ever!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this list. I think these are things that nobody should say to anyone ever!
ReplyDeleteRelaxly as I see it.
ReplyDeleteI ❤️ #6 so much. So much. But not as much as you. I will say the thing that is always appropriate: I love you. If that doesn't work, I have plastic, gloves, and shovels.
ReplyDeleteThey are all so good and I can't think of a thing to add. #9 might have been written just for me. <3
ReplyDeleteLove this list. The only one i would add is: "I can't" I really think anyone saying that to you would really make you crazy.
ReplyDeleteI hate when people say "He/she is in a better place now." That is not the least bit comforting to me, and really, you don't know that anyway.
ReplyDeleteIf we all lived according to this list, the world would be a better place. I like your list. I like it very much.
ReplyDeleteI also like you.
(beth)