Monday, October 08, 2012

Coming Around The Bend

At the end of this week, I will turn 50.  5-0!

Thinking about it can make me a little sad but not because I am getting older.  Numbers and birthdays have never seemed to bother me.  If it ever has, it has been because one of my children was getting older.

It makes me sad because I am incredibly in love with my 40's.  I am truly going to miss them.

When I turned 39, one of my favorite people in my life, Donna,  gave me 40 Q-tips for my birthday.  Yes, she really did.   They had a poem attached to them about my 40th birthday coming up.  Each month on the 13th, she gave me another gift with 40 items.  One month was buttons another month was rhinestones and so on and so on.  But each month she continually gave me something to look forward to in walking towards my 40th birthday.  She told me over and over how much I would love my 40's and even more, my 50's.

My 40's saw a lot of different changes.  I saw Cade, my last child at home,  leave the nest. I have learned to set better boundaries. I have taken chances that I would have NEVER taken in my 30's. I saw Camille get married get married. I tested myself.  I gained Shawn, a son in law that I love as my own.  I got my motorcycle license even though I thought it was going to kill me. I smiled a lot. I got 3 grandchildren that filled places in my heart that I did not know was empty.  I cried a lot. I bought a house.  I made a lot of mistakes but got back up and tried to learn from them.  I made some awesome freinds.  I saw the Weinermobile. ~grins~  I seemed to learn how to stand on my own two feet.  I am happier with myself than I have ever been.  I guess you could say my 40's have made me more comfortable with who I am.  Many probably find that much earlier in life but it took me longer than most.  LOL  I am a late bloomer. 

Fear has been a running theme in my life.  I have always been afraid of one thing or another.  When I was a child,  it was of the dark and being afraid in school.  I always looked at myself as the odd man out so to speak.  I never believed that I fit in and I LONGED to fit in.   I was not a person of confidence.  As an adult, it has been fear of abandonment and fear that I am not good enough.  With those fears come a price.  A price that I have gotten tired of that paying. 

So this week I am going to take a good long look and see what it is that I want from my 50's.  I am rethinking the bucket list and am going to get more committed to getting it done.  In my 50's, I want to DO not just BE.  Does that make sense?

I don't want to be afraid anymore.

I want my 50's to kick ass.

So...this week I am checking something off of the bucket list.   My passport application will be done tomorrow.



I may not have a place to go yet but I will damn sure be ready if an adventure comes my way!

24 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday! (in a few days)

    This was such an insightful post. I'm 39 and 3/4 and I feel like I'm facing some of the same issues. My 30's were so hard and it's such a boost to see you rave about your 40's.

    Now tell me, how on earth did you get such a lovely, flattering passport photo?

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  2. Oh, Mindy! Who knew we had so much in common?! I am still working on my "bloom"! And dealing with my fears! Good luck to you as you enter this next decade. You are such a bright and shining star!

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  3. Nicole...CVS. If you look close, you will see that I have a line across my cheeks. If they had added another one, I might have been mistaken for a cat. ha!

    Your 40's will be wonderful. They are much more freeing than your 30's.

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  4. Oh Annie of course we have lots in common! You are a bright shining star too. We just shine in different states.

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  5. Good on you, girl! Get that passport and get ready for fun!

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  6. aw Mindy...you look great. and life does get better as you get old, not because us old people have more patience, but because us old people don't give a crap! lol
    I had a bucket list for when I turned 50, and I just turned 53...still haven't marked anything off my list. lol
    Debbi
    -yankeeburrowcreations

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  7. POEATS: What a very cute passport photo - no wonder you are going to use that sucker in the next 10 years. I am 53, so my fifties were easier on me than my 40's. So many things turn the corner when you turn 40, now you have smooth sailing until you turn 65!!! You deserve some good times and are a wonderful person with the kind of personality that glows through everything you will find those good times know you absolutely know you deserve them!!!! (you always did, but hey that's part of getting to 50 - knowing you deserve what everyone else always did!!) Plus your redecorating repuposing rocks, you have a whole 2nd career just hiring out to do that!!! Happy 50!

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  8. You GO girl - literally. I'm heading that way myself - to the big 5-0 - and you inspire me! We have a LOT in common...

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  9. Thank you so much for your awesome words Winny! Let's open a shop.

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  10. What a great post. You are so awesome. I just turned 40 and I'm looking forward to this new stage. I was so busy having babies in my 30s - it was such a blur. Looking forward to a different pace :-) gotta make that bucket list ... And renew my passport! You should see y old picture -yikes! Yours is great! Happy bday! Here's to the next 10yrs!

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  11. Oh Adrienne You are going to love your 40's. I promise!

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  12. I have to say that at 44 - I completely understand what you are saying. I enjoyed my 30's, but my 40's I feel home. You aren't the only late bloomer! I think you are just brave enough to talk about it.

    I have my passport - if you ever want to just fly off somewhere - give me a call.

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  13. You would be a blast to go somewhere with Dijea!!

    I cannot imagine you being a late bloomer. I see you as always being hip and wonderful.

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  14. Thank you SO much for this blog about your birthday and for your sweet comment on mine!
    I love that we both share the "I don't want to..."about the upcoming years. The first step to fixing something is to recognize there is a problem..isn't that a thing? I'm proud of us! You will have an awesome 50, and I'm going to have an awesome 30. :)

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  15. You are so welcome Suzanne! I am proud of us too.

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  16. Happy Early Birthday. I am really proud of you for getting your passport. Where do you want to go? I like the 40's birthday idea. I wish I had known that piece sooner, as my sister turns 40 in December this year. Maybe I'll think of something creative around that theme :)

    P.S. my validation word was oddspea. Which is not as nice of a nickname as sweet pea, but I do know several someones that it might apply to.

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  17. From one late bloomer to another, Happy Birthday. I am turning 54 on the 20th. It isn't so bad. You just have to stay active. Your passport photo is nice. I got mine at CVS, too. And now it doesn't look a thing like me!
    xo, Cheryl

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  18. LMAO Sara oddspea would TOTALLY apply to me!!

    I have no idea where I would want to go outside of the Country.

    I would like to go to Seattle. I would also like to take a cruise to Alaska.

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  19. Oh Cheryl I am not an active soul. I am in my mind but not in my body.

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  20. Woo hoo! Kick some butt this decade! I've got bail money.

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  21. I am already 50 and life got better when I had that birthday and goes from glory to glory.

    Bless you lady-in-bloom

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I am a girl who LOVES attention. Comment + attention = happy Mindy!