DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

Going back to the story....

For 30 days after bebo was born, the ex was restless. He said he was having a hard time with the birthday coming up. Kinda like a middle age crazy but he was turning 30. Work was slow so he got a call asking him to go on the road for a few weeks. We both thought that was a good idea. It would give him time on the road to clear out his head and get his act together.

So 30 days to the day that bebo was born, ex packed his bag and went on the road. He actually moved out and into his girlfriend's home. He really was not on the road.

For the next 30 days we talked on the phone and he told me all the things I had done wrong. He told me that I was ugly and stupid and fat and no other man could ever possibly love me. I believed him. He gave me an actual LIST of the things he did not like about me and our home. I tell you that in all honesty...a list. The Mindy you know now is not the Mindy that was then. That Mindy did not have anything higher than a high school education. She had a 10 year old child and a newborn at home. She had a new vehicle in the drive and a house rent and she could not pay either with what she was earning....which was $0. So what did that Mindy do? She fixed EVERY.LAST.THING.ON.THAT.DAMNED.LIST.

Oh yes Ma'am she did. And then she gave it back to him.

I went from weighing 199 pounds on the day I went in to have bebo to 135 three months later.

I cried and fixed that list.

I remember very very little about that time. It was a dark time and maybe it is better that I do not remember it all.

I remember that is when I stopped listening to country music. To this day, most of it still makes me cry and I cannot stand it.

So after the list was given back to him he conceded that it was a little more to the story and that he was working on his end and would be back to the family soon.

Then I got the phone call. The phone call that told me where he was living and who he was living with and that she was his girlfriend.

Later we found out that her mom was the one that placed the phone call and girlfriend was right there. I guess she got tired of waiting for him to make up his mind too.

That was the day I remember. That was the day that the last little bit of the rug was ripped out from under me and my world went black and I fell and fell and fell.

I called my parents who were about 6 hours away. They called on of my friends who came to be with me until they could get there. I could not function. I was in shock.

I realize now that a lot of what happened lead to some major postpartum depression.

My parents got there and saw what condition I was in. They made the decision to take me and the kids home with them until I could function. They loaded us up and away we went. My daddy drove. Babygator and bebo were in the front with him. My mom and I were in the back. My mother is not a touchy feely person at all. She held on to me the entire way home because I told her that I was just going to float away if someone did not. She held onto me so I did not disappear. They got me home and let me re-group.

A few weeks later, he came and told babygator how sorry he was and that me made a huge mistake and was working on fixing it. He told her that he was going to make us a family again and to not give up on him. That made her so happy because she loved her daddy. He and I talked and he was assured that I could get past the affair and work at us being a family.

Three days later I was served with divorce papers. You see, girlfriend was pregnant. He had never intended on making anything right. Babygator was beyond hurt and stopped speaking to him. They have not spoken again or have had anything to do with one another since that day.

We went from mega checks and me buying anything I wanted to HUD and food stamps.

Yes dear readers....I was on food stamps for three years. Three years of buying groceries and everyone staring at me when I checked out.

And I went to college.....


....who keeps her Lone Star Card in her desk drawer to remember where she came from....

Comments

  1. you are woman... and yep. we hear the roar!!!!

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  2. BTDT... but.. not with quite as much drama. You do like your drama, lol. I am thinking I like you better *now*. I probably would have slapped you back then and then burned the list. And you know I love you. And I kinda like BabyG's attitude about people who jerk you around... it's served her well and led her on to much more wonderful things in her life.

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  3. Mindy you are amazing and strong and I just love you.

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  4. Woo hoo for the rest of the story!

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  5. Wow - you are an inspiration.

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  6. It just makes me cry. Makes me cry and makes me mad. He's a douche bag. A horrible horrible person and there is a special place in hell for him and her too.
    I am not going to lie, there are times I think about calling him. But I play the conversation in my head before I even pick up the phone and it never ends well for him.
    I love you and I am so glad we came back from that place.
    Don't forget the last words he ever said to me. "Shut up, grow up, quit your crying and take care of your Mother and Little Brother". <---see horrible person. Just calling it like I see it.

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  7. I eventually learned to roar hot cup. ~grins~

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  8. You totally and completely rock.
    (((Mindy)))

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  9. You. Completely. Rock.

    LYMI

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  10. Just crazy about you, Mindy.

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  11. Yes flutter you prolly wouldn't have. I was more of a sheep then. ~laffin~

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  12. LOL and I am ready to get it told Rach. Tired of the muddy part.

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  13. LOL...No Cathy I am just me. The story gets better. I promise.

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  14. Oh babygator I am so sorry. I did not think you would read this yet and I was going to warn you.

    I am so very sorry that I drug you through that. So very very sorry. That part was all my fault.

    Love you this manies.

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  15. Zorra...cause I gots the bestest group to rock with! Love ya!

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  16. Thank you so much Mrs. M. ~I hope you mean crazy in a good way LOL~

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  17. Douche-bag is too good of a word for him. What an ass!

    Mindy, I love the woman you have become.

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  18. Mindy, I'm adding my "I love you" to the chorus. You are amazing.

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  19. Love you Mindy. You rock the inspiration thing. More inspiring than Oprah I tell ya!

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  20. We have so, so much in common, dear friend. I'm grateful that you climbed out of your dark hole of hell and into the sweet light of reality. So much sorrow and yet, if it were not for those black trials, we may not be the strong women we are today.

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  21. You are an amazing woman. What a fine example you have set for your children. Yup. You are amazing.

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  22. Me too Dijea.....I do not even know that woman from back there anymore.

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  23. Well Guurrlll...she and I ARE about the same size. ~grins~

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  24. Totally agree Wonderful...my twin I have not met yet.

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  25. Thank you Adrienne but I did just what the rest of you would have done. I put one foot in front of the other. And when I couldn't see...I held on to someone that could.

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  26. You are an awsome person. I have a grand daughter that is going through the identially same thing. List and all. I only wish she had your gumption. I hope she survivies.

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  27. LYMI. It totally sucks that the great you you are today was partially forged in the fires of hell here on earth. The world is blessed to have you and all you offer including your story. There are sooooo many women out there who need a cup of your courage. Glad your folks have always been there to hang on to you till you got your grounding again.

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  28. You were my first follower on my blog, I am finally visiting...wow it sounds like you have been through alot. I am hitting 32 years of marriage this year, and this past year has been the hardest. It is hard work and it takes two workers. I hope your story has a happy ending, I will keep reading!

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  29. Can see why you have become a strong independent person, and wow, what great folks you have!!

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  30. Oh catsngrams I am so so sorry. Can I help?

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  31. Mid life you made me cry. Thank you for your words.

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  32. You are awesome. You have to write about this as a book. Have to. It would be so inspiring. Because "douchebag" is a pervasive disease among men.

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  33. PG can you imagine the commercial for that disease medication? LMAO

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  34. well Mindy my friend you gotta watch out for them sheep--sometimes they bite!
    and sometimes they don't know they are wolves until you try to shear 'em!
    here's to being "fleased"
    free at last, free at last TGA we are free at last!

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  35. Mindy, I love you. I just love you to death. You are wonderful and beautiful and SMART. You brought home the bacon and fried it up in a pan and then got you some edumacashun, too!
    Love you, love you, love you!
    Cheryl

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  36. Oh, Mindy. I read this at work yesterday and had to work hard at fighting back the tears. That is such a horrible thing that he did. And you certainly did not deserve such awful treatment.

    But you are walking through it all, and proving yourself to be an awesome, wonderful and powerful woman! I so admire you, Mindy. And, like someone else said, I love the woman you have become.

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  37. 4R's congrats! Yes it does take a lot of work. My kids have had some great marriages to look up to. I am glad that you are someone that chooses to put the work into to!

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  38. Winny thank you...and yes my parents were wonderful and supportive.

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  39. ~laffin~ Oh mammabear so true so true!!

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  40. love you too whos. ~grins~ love ya too

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  41. Thank you so very much annie. I pretty much like mindy too....well most of the time. HA!

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  42. Dang. You--are amazing. And I love you. Wow.

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  43. Oh, sweetie. ~sigh~

    You and my sister should meet some time. Her EX "went to Florida for Army Reserve training" the day he moved to Ohio to live w/his girlfriend.

    Love you madly.

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  44. LMAO over thinking about a commercial for a medication for DoucheBag disease, lolol... now there's a blog just waiting to be written... all those lists of side effects sometimes make me think the cure is worse than the disease itself.

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  45. what everyone said. You are amazing.

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