I have a love/hate relationship with facebook. I am there because all of the popular kids are there ~waves to you from the back of the lunchroom at the nerd table~. Twitter is okay. I find that it is just a glorified status update like what is on myspace. Myspace is okay. I found a dear dear friend that I had searched for years on myspace so that was totally worth it. It is not that I do not enjoy facebook because I do. I have liked getting back in touch with people from my past. I do hate that it seems to be taking the place of emailing, blogging and reading blogs. I really do hate that and I will admit that I am the first one guilty of letting those things fall away because of facebook. It is also a HUGH time suck (LORD SAVE ME FROM FACE TOWN AND FARKLE!). I have lots of friends there. Some of those people are beloved blogger friends, present and past friends and people that have simply joined my page to build up my mafia. The past people are all people I went to school with. Many I did not really know then and still really do not know but I realize that people sometimes add people just for the numbers. Some I have refused to add. Talking about creating a stir ~rolls my eyes and mutter OY VEY~

Lately, I have had a guilty little dirty addiction on facebook. This addiction was like watching a Mexican novella. You do not really understand all that is going on but you certainly do get the drift in a BIG way. At least on the novellas you get all the stenciled on eyebrow raising and such. With the facebook pages you have to rely on words...or lack there of. This is the case of two facebook pages that I am reading from people who went to high school at or around the same time that I did. I really do not know either of them. I certainly did not know that they married and have been married for 28 years. She post a lot on her page. About a week ago, she began to post even more. The updates got more and more cryptic and strange. It certainly left her followers guessing and leaving lots of comments. The husbands post were things like *Transformers Rocked!* So I figured it was not a home thing. He never leaves comments on her page but she leaves lots on his. And they are all in a wifely tone. You know what I mean. Anyway, it was enough to keep me looking for her updates. Well Monday all hell broke loose. She posted that he had asked for 30 days to think about things. She asked her followers for prayers and help for this time and prayers for her marriage to be mended. Then she ended up logging over 50 comments. On her responses to those comments she wrote such things as *he has gone crazy* *he is not seeking good counsel* and *I think he is unstable*. She posted those things for him and all of the ever loving world to see. It was like driving by a horrible automobile accident and not being able to look away. In those comments, it seemed to me that she was just banging nails into the coffin of her marriage with total disregard to herself or her husband. He simply put a notice stating that he was tired of facebook and if anyone needed him then they could send him an email.

Almost anyone reading this post has a blog. I have read many of your entries about getting married or a marriage break up, the birth or death of a child, losing a loved one to death and even how you just want to run away at times. I have even posted about bad days and how I hate not having a mate. For some reason, if I read about it in a blog, I feel as though you have entrusted me to read your journal entry. Like you came up, tapped me on the shoulder and read this. It always felt intimate.

Reading what she has written is like reading about the break up of her marriage in the Thrifty Nickle and I hate that. One of the best pieces of advise that I have ever received is, if you are having a problem, surround yourself with a FEW people who love you and will always tell you the trust. Those are the people you confide in. They will give you good honest counsel. If you let that important circle get too big, you will always find someone who will agree with you even when it is not truth or in your best interest.

What does it feel different to me? Why does this bother me?

I really don't know if there is an answer. I do know that her answers are not going to be found on facebook. I also know that I am going to work harder at posting and reading blogs.

And on a lighter note...gingerbean taking a bath. She LOVES her some bath taking!


  1. That whole situation is exactly why I pulled my Facebook and blog for now.

    I hope that woman figures it out. Sad times.

    Meanwhile I MISS YOU!!! And that Gingerbean is just getting better lookin' every day.

  2. Mindy!
    Mmmmmwwwahhhh! (big kiss)
    I had to get away from Facebook too. Way to superficial. It was hard for me to think up anything clever enough to say for an update....that is why I don't Twitter either!
    I've missed you lady!

  3. There is a divorce lawyer out there that wants to get those print outs. If you think I'm joking I know a few who have asked me to befriend people to get what people post.

    I will never stop posting stupid things about what my husband does everyday - he is a big giant dork. But God forbid it ever goes that far - you won't hear a thing about it on my blog - my Twitter or my facebook. I would never put it out there for my kid to find.

    Facebook is a total time hog and if I could only "undiscover" farkle and Mafia wars I would be so much better off.

  4. Mindy, you voyeur!

    I only recently opened a Facebook account but blissfully, am either too stupid or too lazy to figure it all out. Spending time there is not fun for me, I'd rather blog. I have a need to must be the creative beast in me that longs to share my silly thoughts with the world! When I should be sewing! Or (gasp) cleaning!

    That reminds me, BB, the dog-who thinks-she's-a-human-girl, needs a bath.

  5. So far I've managed to stay away from Facebook. Not that I'm not tempted, but blogs already take so much time that I don't need yet another excuse to not work!

    Oh, Redford is begging to take over the keyboard...

    Hey, Gingerbean! You are sure a cutie! Wanna come over and take a bath with me sometime? ~ Redford

  6. Anonymous1:03 PM

    Mindy, You couldn't have explained FaceBook better. I feel the same way!
    I updated my blog today!!

    Love ya!!

  7. Anonymous1:39 PM

    I refuse to drink the twitter Kool-aid. I drank facebook.

    For me, I blog anonomyously and built realtionships through that. I feel less exposed, and safer to post there. But i know that is not true -- it is still public. Perhaps it has soemthing to do with the immediacy of reading and responding, or how folks seem to be less censored on facebook. Blogging feels more respectful in a way.

    I am making no sense. But I get what you are saying.

  8. There has been many a time I was tempted to put something inappropriate on facebook because I was frustrated or angry however I abstain and end up writing something silly instead.

    I love facebook because I can keep in contact with friends all over the US. As a matter of fact a seminary friend and I found out that we were in the same state on facebook and were able to meet up.

    Like anything, it is good as long as it is in moderation. Unless of course you are playing mafia.

  9. I never have gotten the "hang" of Facebook--sounds like that might be a good thing. I love the idea of blogs, though! Gingerbean is so cute! Love that picture. Have a great 4th of July...

  10. I have fun with Twitter sometimes, which you know because you and Dijea are quite often part of it, lol. I also do Facebook but not the games or whatever. I have a private thread in there where I talk to a very small group of ladies I know from a forum we all used to hang out on and got tired of the people there so we ended up in FB where it's private. And I make little comments in there to you and a few others. I just didn't ever really get into MySpace. It's there... but I don't do much of anything with it. My blog is my sanity saver... And like Dijea, I bitch plenty about my dorky hubby. But yeah... if it was ever more serious? Well you would know it, and a couple others would, but not the whole freaking world. (And I think I always tell it to you like it is and not what you sometimes just want it to be, lol)

  11. Anonymous6:27 PM

    Mindy - come & play Farkle in person!!! I actually have a very small set of dice that I carry in my purse for dr. sppts... anytime I have to wait somewhere with the boyz. FB is a serious time suck - I have been sooooo tempted by Mafia Wars!

  12. I do think that Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter have taken the place of blogs and e-mail. I get really hyped up about one of them for a while then it just kind of fizzles.

    Anywho, I am glad that you are posting again, I have missed you. Lol, I talk to you every day but I have missed you!

    Can't wait to see all of you on Saturday, I think Biker is going to smoke the brisket on Friday so that is will still be hot and scrumptious.

  13. Can I get an Amen?!

  14. I know what you mean. For me, Facecrack is at times Booooorrring. I don't always care what people ate for breakfast, ya know? And then I think - "OMG - I'm boring too!!!" and then I stop posting. Then I start again. Anyway, you make a very good point. I hope your friend gets things sorted soon.

    I'm lovin' me some Gingerbean.

  15. That is the most precious picture of GB. Yesterday I saw a wonderful picture of two corgi puppies on and was trying to figure out how to send it to you...maybe you can find it if you look on that site.

    I don't know why anyone would post anything really intimate on FB. My problem is that a number of people in my church know about my blog (somebody at church outed me) so now there are things I can't put there, either.

    The good thing about FB is being able to get back in touch with long-lost cousins, high school friends, etc.

  16. FB is okay...until it's know?

    I'd be glad to see more blog postings from you. I miss you!!

  17. I hear you.

    I use both fb and blog. What is a bit scary about fb is the status changing so fast .. and quick comments. At least blogs take longer to write :)

  18. Well said, and I'm so glad you are back to the blog! I've missed ya!


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