I Don't Even Remember His Name....

The first time I consciously remember being bullied was in the 7th grade.  I was in junior high.  We were living in Post Texas and it was in math class.  I have always hated math.   I had moved there mid year of my 6th grade year.  This class divided into 4 sections.  Each section was in a corner of the room and the teacher used the middle section to stand in and teach.  It really worked out well.  

I walked into class wearing a new pair of blue jeans.  My mom had gotten creative and had sewn decorative patches onto the jeans.  I am guessing that was the style...or it was a throw back to the 60's.  No matter what, I loved them.  I thought that they were so cute.  I went into class feeling particularly snazzy that day.  I needed that because junior high was hard for me.  I *developed* before most of the girls.  The guys took great joy in calling me *bounce*.  Looking back,  I can see that they were really paying me what they thought was good attention and it was meant in fun. At the time, I was miserable and hated it.

My oh my how my love of attention has certainly changed.

I be-bopped my way into class.  Books held tight against my chest so that my girls would not jiggle.  I was feeling great when it happened.  I put my things at my desk in one of the four sections and went across the room to sharpen my pencil.

I miss real pencil sharpeners.  The turning of the handle.  The smell of the saw dust.  The point of the lead.

I turned to go back to my desk and I am cut off by a blonde boy standing in my way.  Today, I cannot even remember his name.  I go to the left and he steps in front of me.  I go to the right and he steps in front of me again.  He then begins a barrage of statements and questions that have no need for answers.  *Why am I wearing those stupid old pants?*  *Everyone know that you are poor and those are covering holes.*  *Look at those shoes that you are wearing.  Could you not find any uglier shoes when you had to go though the lost and found box?* * Why can you just not admit that you are poor and dumb?*

I can remember feeling hot and wanting to die.  The tears came to my eyes but I knew it would just get worse if they feel down my cheeks.  I stood there still and unmoving until the teacher came into the door.  She never realized that anything was even going on.  The boy stepped aside and I was able to go to my desk.  I am sure I did not hear a thing that the teacher said that day.  Time just kind of stood still for me.

No one stepped in to help me.  I don't blame them at all.  The wrath would have just been turned on them.  The crazy thing is.....I never did anything to that boy before that day.  I just happened to be the one that crossed his path.  I am sure that what ever happened had nothing to do with me....it just poured out on me.  I do not remember ever having another problem with him.  

Now that I am older and there are lots of years between me and that Mindy,  I realize that nothing that day was about me.  It was all about him and what must have been a miserable day/week/month/life time he was having.  No matter, I can still hear his voice and can get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about that day.

I don't *do* bullies.   There is simply no place for that.  

I am afraid that this whole election is turning into a big ole bullying session.  I am tired of the ugliness and mud slinging.  I am honestly not 100% impressed with anyone running.

And might I take a moment to apologize to the rest of the United States?  Texas is sincerely sorry for the candidates we keep throwing out at y'all.  Please forgive us and we will try to do better in the future.  I am not really sure how that happened.

Poor Ann Richards.  I am sure she must be very dizzy from rolling over and over and over in her grave.

This is the first time in my life that I can remember being this concerned and fearful about an election.  People are sick and tired of things and are not using their common sense.  They want change....ANY CHANGE. That can be dangerous if we don't take the time to look beneath what people are saying.  Everyone is yelling things.  We seem to be paying attention to those that are yelling the loudest and the nastiest.  If we are not careful, that is not going to end well for us.
  

I voted early this month.  I mused on facebook that, by voting early, I should have been given a magical button that turns off all of the commercials and ads for ALL candidates.  That did not happen but I happen to be in love with the mute button on the remote.

No matter who you support,  I just asked that you listen and then do your own homework.  Go beyond the words and check out what your candidate really stands for.  

Once you have done all of that, VOTE if you have not already.  Don't be one of those people who say that your vote does not matter.   Vote.  Vote if your person is leading in the poles.  Vote if your person is barely in the race.  Vote if you need to pencil in a write in candidate.  For gosh sakes VOTE so that we can still be friends.

I so wish I had those pants and the white go go boots that I used to have back in junior high.




...............would never ever run for an office cause I would just agonize over the number of people who did not vote for me.  ;)