SOMETIMES YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW OR UNDERSTAND

I loved being pregnant with Camille.  That first baby makes you look at your body in a whole new way.  She was so tiny and hardly moved at all.  Such an easy birth.  For reals...under 2 hours.   I was so young and not so bright but I relished that time.  

Then, years later, I got pregnant with Cade.  Such a different pregnancy!  Such a big boy who moved constantly.  He would move to get closer to his sister's voice.  I swear he loved her first.  That pregnancy was built on such a shaky false ground but I did not know that at the time.  I again marveled at how I felt and how I thought I was accomplishing something so grand.  My dark secret during that time was I thought I could not love Cade like I did Camille.  I just had this sinking feeling that there was no way.  I knew I would love him....I was already IN love with him.  But I felt like I could not love him as much.

Then he was born and, with that last push, my heart doubled.  It is like each child brings with them a piece of your heart that you did not even know you were missing.  And your heart immediately adds that missing piece and beats a little stronger and a little louder. 


Before Camille and Shawn got married, they started taking classes to be foster parents.  I have to say I was very uneasy thinking that they were going to start off their marriage fostering children.   I have sat through many a CPS hearing and have heard countless horror stories.  It scared me.  I wanted to get a brand new squeaky clean baby.  


Instead they got 3 already ripened boys.  THREE boys.  THREE BOYS!  


And my heart?  the uneasy heart?  The one that wanted a brand spanking new baby?


Well it got 3 new pieces added to it.   Three little pieces that I did not even know was missing.  Three little pieces that make it beat even stronger and louder.  

In the State of Texas, there is a process that one has to go through in order to foster and then adopt.  Before the adoption process, the other parties involved can appeal and try to take the children back.  That is NOT in the best interest of these children AT ALL.  It seems like every week there was a new appeal...and then another and another.   That is what happens when a person has a lot of time on their hands in the penal system.


Anywho......


AS of today, the files were transferred to the adoption unit.  There will be no new appeals heard.

And that makes Momdy very VERY happy.  

Especially since I have already bought Christmas stocking and had their names already put on them.  ~grins~

 also referred to as Momdy by the short IN crowd.