Mirror Mirror on the wall....
Nothing surprises me in my job anymore. About the time that you think you have seen it all, some thing comes along that make you go hhhmmmmmmm. Sometimes it is not the thing that you thought it would be.
I know this young man. Nice sweet gentle hearted young man. He is 25 years old. This young man has told me so much of his past. Things that are so large that I wonder how in the world I would have gotten through the struggles that he has gotten through. He was sexually molested by a man who lived next door to him from age 5 until 11. He tried to tell his Mom but she would beat him with an extension cord and tell him that he *asked for it* because he wanted to be a girl instead of a boy. She told him that they were Christians and that he was sinful. Heavy stuff for a 5 year old if you ask me. At 5, I remember Jesus being expressed to me with flannel boards and stick on Adam and Eve. I have never in all of my 42 years have felt as though He was best portrayed with an extension cord. Any way, the young man grew up and now he works hard. He is bold in some ways and shy and timid in others. He thinks that he is stupid and cannot save money to save his life. He and I are working on that. Poor guy, I have him carrying around a notebook writing down every penny that he spends. He was so excited that he had saved $25.00 lat week. He went to Wal Mart and bought a bank that he cannot get into so that he could save his money. He also comes to see me in full make-up. I do not mean a little lip gloss...Oh NO!! He comes in with base, blush, lip liner, lip stick, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara and fully painted finger and toe nails...and usually they are sparkly. He is honestly beautiful when made up. He could also teach me about a million ways to do my make up because I certainly look make-up dyslexic up beside him.
He was telling me the other day about how hard it is for him in every day life. The World really gives him no problems with who he is. He even wears his make-up to work and people are just fine with that. His problem is his mom's family. He is shunned and an outcast for being gay. Do I understand it? Yes and no. Would it be hard if my son chose to present himself at the dinner table in drag? Oh yeah it would be hard. He was telling me that it is hardest around Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Him *I have more depression during the holidays. I usually spend alot of money then so I will not think about my problems.*
Me *What kinds of problems?*
Him *My Mom and her family. You see, they are Christians and I cannot go over there at all. That is alright and I understand their hating me cause they are Christians. They call me names and tell me that I am going to hell cause I am gay and cause I cross dress. I understand that they feel that way because of the way that they believe. I respect that but it hurts. But, it is really hard at Thanksgiving and Christmas cause you should be with your family.*
Me *Oh wow, that must be really hard for you. Do you realize that I am a Christian?*
Him *Oh my gosh no!* He blinks his pretty eyes. * You certainly do not act like one.*
I know this young man. Nice sweet gentle hearted young man. He is 25 years old. This young man has told me so much of his past. Things that are so large that I wonder how in the world I would have gotten through the struggles that he has gotten through. He was sexually molested by a man who lived next door to him from age 5 until 11. He tried to tell his Mom but she would beat him with an extension cord and tell him that he *asked for it* because he wanted to be a girl instead of a boy. She told him that they were Christians and that he was sinful. Heavy stuff for a 5 year old if you ask me. At 5, I remember Jesus being expressed to me with flannel boards and stick on Adam and Eve. I have never in all of my 42 years have felt as though He was best portrayed with an extension cord. Any way, the young man grew up and now he works hard. He is bold in some ways and shy and timid in others. He thinks that he is stupid and cannot save money to save his life. He and I are working on that. Poor guy, I have him carrying around a notebook writing down every penny that he spends. He was so excited that he had saved $25.00 lat week. He went to Wal Mart and bought a bank that he cannot get into so that he could save his money. He also comes to see me in full make-up. I do not mean a little lip gloss...Oh NO!! He comes in with base, blush, lip liner, lip stick, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara and fully painted finger and toe nails...and usually they are sparkly. He is honestly beautiful when made up. He could also teach me about a million ways to do my make up because I certainly look make-up dyslexic up beside him.
He was telling me the other day about how hard it is for him in every day life. The World really gives him no problems with who he is. He even wears his make-up to work and people are just fine with that. His problem is his mom's family. He is shunned and an outcast for being gay. Do I understand it? Yes and no. Would it be hard if my son chose to present himself at the dinner table in drag? Oh yeah it would be hard. He was telling me that it is hardest around Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Him *I have more depression during the holidays. I usually spend alot of money then so I will not think about my problems.*
Me *What kinds of problems?*
Him *My Mom and her family. You see, they are Christians and I cannot go over there at all. That is alright and I understand their hating me cause they are Christians. They call me names and tell me that I am going to hell cause I am gay and cause I cross dress. I understand that they feel that way because of the way that they believe. I respect that but it hurts. But, it is really hard at Thanksgiving and Christmas cause you should be with your family.*
Me *Oh wow, that must be really hard for you. Do you realize that I am a Christian?*
Him *Oh my gosh no!* He blinks his pretty eyes. * You certainly do not act like one.*
How sad is THAT? You ARE the one acting like a Christian. Poor fellow. He is lucky to have you to help him.
ReplyDeleteThank you YT though I did not mean this at all as a pat on my back. It breaks my heart to realize more and more that people do not want to be Christians due to what is modeled before them. How sad for us and how sad for this world.
ReplyDeleteand thank God that you don't :)
ReplyDeleteIt makes me wonder why people can't be accepted for who they are. So what is he is gay, so what if he cross dresses, he is still her son. It would be hard is Bebo decided to be gay and dress in drag but he would still be my little brother and I would love him just the same.
ReplyDeleteI have never understood how hating someone shows them the love of Jesus, it's kind of like, well, it's kind of like beating someone with an extension cord, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteBlessings on you as you continue to show this young man Christian compassion and love.
This one made me take a big old "Gulp". How many of our marginalized brothers and sisters see us this way?
ReplyDeleteI thought about this long and hard last night and I'm with RevMom on this one. How many of those out there, see us this way? sigh, sometimes I'm ashamed to be a Christian.
ReplyDeleteWow! I guess his family doesn't sin!
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart that, we as Christians, have let ourselves be so judgemental. I just think that we have got to learn about love again and then ACT like it. And I am as guilty as the next person of not doing what it is that I KNOW that I am supposed to do.
ReplyDeleteWow! I hate when I hear stuff like this and yet know how often it happens all around us. I am so glad he has you in his life!
ReplyDeleteI just found myself laughing at princess' comment :)
ReplyDeleteYou see I confess I've been judging those bad Christians all day:(
I read a tale though that restored my faith in humankind again. No idea if they were Christians or not, but they sure were good samaritans.
Mindy (our dog's called that btw) thank you again for sharing this.
I'm so glad that you are there to be a light to him, Mindy. Imagine--is there anyone more in need of the gospel of love and grace than a victim of sexual abuse who's been rejected by his family? Too bad... too bad.
ReplyDeleteWhat a story, Mindy! The poor guy! And, like PPB, I laughed too. I'm so glad you don't act like one!
ReplyDeleteVery cool post! Why do we let all the wacko Christians get all the publicity? Its the silent majority, I guess.
ReplyDeleteMindy, I'm thankful you are there to show him a different meaning for the word Christian.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you stopped by my place... this is such a powerful post!
ReplyDeleteI think the deal is that we are to be as Christ... and not Christians.
Yankee said it just right. You are accepting, and that is the way it should be.
ReplyDeleteToday I told a friend how scared I would be if I ever had to tell my family the truth about myself. Thankfully, mom and dad are dead and they'll not need to suffer with the truth when it is shared.
ReplyDeleteHello anon and welcome. I am so sorry that you feel as though your secret would have hurt your parents. I am glad though that you have someone that you trust and can share it with. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteHow sad is it that the religious right has so hijacked the public image of Christians??!!
ReplyDeleteFor the most part, I'd prefer not to be identified with the "hate the sin, love the sinner" people who think they are acting in the name of Jesus.
I am so thankful that you were there to show this person another, more human way to be Christian.