Saturday, August 16, 2014

SUPPOSED TO BE


I have now been at my job for 18 years and 3 days.  A job I was never supposed to have in a town I was never supposed to live in.  Living a life I was never supposed to live.

I was supposed to grow up, get married, have babies, drive a mini van,take the kids to soccer and girl scouts and have a 50th wedding anniversary

The back up plan was to get married, have babies, go to college at night and then become a speech and drama teacher. 

Instead....I almost got grown up, got pregnant, got married, got divorced, got married, got pregnant, got divorced, went to college, grew up kinda and became a probation officer.

Well...I got the drama part right. 

The woman I was supposed to be is a runner (I have no IDEA why!!  But she is that in my mind...never mind I do not even like to walk briskly).  She is slender and tucks her shirt in.  She has white teeth and wears cute Toms and never ever yells.  She is the VP of the PTA and always takes the best decorated cupcakes to all of the bake sales. She is cute and everyone smiles when her name is mentioned.

In reality, this week, I ate a whole bag of Cheetos in less than 24 hours.  I had it hidden in the bottom drawer of my desk at work.  I taught my classes. I got very little sleep.  I cried.  

I DO wear Toms.  Got 2 pair at Goodwill this week.  GO ME!!  I think the other Mindy would have only purchased them at the store so some child could have gotten a free pair.

I ended up being smack dabbed exactly where I was never ever supposed to be.

And I could not be any happier about it. 

Long before I ever even applied for this job, my life  had already intertwined with those that were already there.

I had a summer micro term with one E.  We did not figure it out until later.
J had babysat the first guy I ever kissed.  
I went to school with one of their wives....he came all the way from another state.
Rach and I went to the same junior high in my birth town...she likes to point out *a decade apart*.
M2 grew up with a guy and ended up at the same college he was attending.   She graduated...he did not at that time...he and I later became friends when I attended that college.

'hole lot of 6 degrees of separation there huh?

So, what would I say to *that* Mindy?  Stop being afraid. See people for who they are and not for what they could possibly be.  Your boobs are always going to be big.  Seriously, BIG.  You will still get to teach....just not in a way that you could have ever imagined.  Stop doing something because someone else thinks that you should.  Listen to your heart.  There will come a time, trust me on this, that you will feel comfortable about who you are.  For Reals.  Truly...TRULY be open.....because there are going to be people that you meet up with that are supposed to be in your life....let them in.  Keep planting those seeds regardless.  Know that you can be sweet and strong all at the same time.

But, most of all, be ready....cause your life is about to make a really surprising turn and OMG you are so going to love the characters in this novela.  

 

...cue that bodacious theme music..... I have so missed you.