Monday, December 31, 2012


I have been a little melancholy the last couple of days looking back on 2012.  I still have more questions that I wish 2012 had answered but maybe they will be revealed in 2013.  Most years I am more than ready for the year to be over and done with.  But this year was a really good year if you don't include my mini (okay okay maybe a wee bit bigger than MINI) emotional breakdown in November.  ~laffin~  Thank you God for good friends both in real life and on the net, a life coach and my tribe that caught me and set by back upright.
Just call me a Humpty Dumpty success story.  Yes Siree Bob.
I began the year so happy. Happier than I had been in a long time.  I turned 50.  I put myself out there and did something that I never even knew that I had the courage to do.   It was good...and I do not regret it.    I got my tattoo.  I became a proud owner of a scooter.  I emotionally crashed and burned.  I got my motorcycle license.  I said good bye to co-workers/friends that moved on.  I shared my home with my love. 
Then  I have had to learned how to live alone.  I have gone one year without a diet coke or any kind of soda.  I am learning to listen to my intuitive side.  I made a quilt.  I kicked my potholder fear.  I cried a lot.  I remembered why I stopped listening to country music.  I laughed a lot.   I prayed into the tiny ears of a baby girl who will eventually slip from my grasp.  I made party hats.  LOL mine turned out more like Vegas Show Girls or Elephant in a big Circus head pieces but I made them!
 2012 was the year of lessons.  Some of them came easy and some of them hard.  Some I had to be drug through  and some I had to laugh at and move on.  A few I had to realize were not MY lessons to learn and I had to let others fall.  I am thankful for each and every lesson.  So thankful.  I know that I still have a lot of work to do but it is all good.  Because of all of that, I am looking forward to 2013.  

2012  *BIG AIR KISS*  Thank you so much. 

2013  Come over here and give me a hug you big beautiful year!! Pink or Purple party hat?

..........I love you.  Ditto.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Redneck Candy

Redneck candy.  LOL that is what we have always called this candy because it is made with saltine crackers.  I have made it for years and do not remember where I first got the recipe.  Have you ever tried crackers and chocolate?  mmmmmmmmm  I can remember my mom making chocolate cake with homemade icing.  She had to beat her icing and I remember her doing it in the bottom of a pressure cooker pot.  ~grins~  she still has that pot.  Beat it for one minute too long and it turned into a sugary fudge.  Timing was everything. Once the cake was frosted, she would scrape the left over icing and spread it on saltines for a treat for us. 

Dang did I just see something shiny and get side tracked or what?

Anyway back to candy.  The recipe popped up again on pinterest but with a twist.  Instead of saltines they used cheeze-its. 
                           FREAKING GENIUSES!!
This is a totally easy throw together you do not have to have special skills or a candy thermometer to have to do this kinda candy.
                                       CHEEZ IT BARK
                                  (looky there....even the name is fancier and more civilized)

2 sticks butter.  Yes real butter.  I think you could really cut that down to 1 1/2 sticks.  I am a butter lover so if I say you can do that you know you really can.
1 Cup packed brown sugar
2 bags of milk chocolate chips (going to try white chocolate next time)
1/2 box Cheez its.  I used the big ones.
1 cup toasted crushed pecans.

Pre-heat over to 400

Line your jelly roll pan with foil.  No really, do it.  Make sure you do not punch a hole through the foil.  You will thank me for this later.  Spray the foil with cooking spray.

Layer your cheez its flat on the foil.  Cover the entire pan. 

In a saucepan, melt the sugar and butter until it boils.  Reduce the heat and simmer for 3-4 minutes or until it is thickened and the sugar is dissolved.  Pour this mixture over the crackers.  You might need to spread it a little bit.  Do not mix them around.  Just pour over the top. 

Bake them in the oven for 5-8 minutes or until your candy mixture becomes bubbly.  Take out of over and let sit for a few minutes.  Sprinkle all of your chocolate chips on top and then pop your pan back into your turned off oven for just a few minutes.  This will help your chips to melt. Taken the pan back out and you should be able to spread your chips like icing.

Sprinkle your pecans over the top.  Let cool (I refrigerate mine) until they are cooled and hardened.  Once they are cooled break into pieces.

The cheez its make a big difference!!

~grins~  You are welcome.

Saturday, December 15, 2012


 I got to spend time with the granddudes and a tiny dudette last night and today. We ate, played, fussed and created .  And I hugged and kissed them a lot.

A few weeks ago I sat on the floors of the kindergarten and first grade rooms in Happy Texas.  I sat with Jarrod on my lap and read to him.  I got to see all the other grandparents with their little ones.  I then wandered to the first grade room and sat with Joey while he read to me.  It was such a good day that I got to share with my grands.  I am again in awe of people who teach because I certainly couldn't do it. 

Yesterday people woke up and hurriedly got short people off to school.  Parents made sure tummies were fed, teeth were brushed and backpacks were in place.  It was a *normal* day all across the country.  

What a difference one day makes.

Last night I cried, prayed and tried sending healing positive energy to and for a place I have never even been toI cannot even began to comprehend that horrible act of violence that occurred to such small, innocent, trusting souls. I kept remembering sitting on the floor of the school with 2 of my own.

Today families, friends, an entire community, state and nation are reeling with emotions and facebook is filled with such stupid trash as *this is a call for stricter gun control*  *I will NEVER let them take my guns* *This would not have happened if we had not taken God out of schools* *If Obama was not President*.

Friends....I call bullshit.

What happened yesterday was because of mental illness, brokenness, evil and free will.   People who are alright do NOT commit such unspeakable acts.

Instead of being kind and standing with people who are grieving, instead of offering only healing words and holding people who needed to be held,  people began to try to point and blame and run their mouths....or fingers in this case.

Freaking  stop it.

Take what happened yesterday personally and change how you act in your world.  Practice love, kindness and tolerance.  Shut your mouths.  Stop the hateful propaganda and remember what it is like to feel.  Walk in kindness.  Smile when you greet people.  For pete's sake DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR SOMEONE TODAY.  

Too many people want to TALK about change but do not want to BE the change. There really is no place for trash talk and rhetoric right now. There are no wordsNothing will ever make sense in this act.  Not yesterday, not today,  not tomorrow. 

And now comes the part where I will lose friends.

My Christian brothers and sisters.  Those of you posting that this happened because God is not in our schools.  REALLY??? By posting that, you are saying that those lives would have been spared if there was a cross on the door or if a two minute prayer had been said that morning.  Are you saying if I wear a cross around my neck nothing bad will ever happen to me? That is so wrong and you are sending out a message about a *magical* god.   You know better.  God is in our schools if you are doing what you know to do each and every day.  People are disgusted with us Christians because of things like that.  You know what, they have ever right to be.   Why would they want to be like us We don't practice what we teach.  That must change.

And I am not just talking about you....I am talking about myself too.

Today a community is in mourning.  Our job is to mourn with them and hold them up.  

We all have a job to do.  So let's shut up and start doing it.  Let's start with what is right in front of us and then venture out.  Stop talking and start with love, healing and kindness.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Cause Crazy and Cake Are Normal To Me

 This is the recipe that caused me to stumble last night.  LOL then several people asked for it so I posted it on facebook and now here.  Disregard that last line that says that it could actually feed 2-4 easily.  That person was a big fat liar....or a mouse with a tiny mouth.  ~rolling my eyes~     I make an icing for this with powdered sugar, vanilla (or any extract) and milk or flavored creamer.  I pour the icing on while the cake is still hot so that it soaks in.
 But the recipe brought up one of my *odd* things.  I keep recipes that I use a lot taped on the inside of my kitchen cabinets.  I learned that trick from my maternal grandmother who was bat s%#t crazy.

Yes she was. 
Her name was Mama.  Big mama in later years but you could not tell her that to her face!  She was crazy but I did not know that when I was young.  I loved her very very much and she loved me too.   I know I was the favorite granddaughter on that side of the family.  In hindsight, I now know that she was probably bi-polar or schizophrenic.  She *self medicated*.  Not in the normal drink alcohol kinda way but in a pill popping kind of way.  She and my grandfather lived out in the country and she would go to little town doctors for several counties away to get her pills.  More than likely she was under several doctor's care at the same time.  Once when she went in for surgery, my Mom and Aunts searched her home and found over 52 current prescriptions.

Yes Siree Bob....addictions run in my family.

Now I know that she must have been very miserable inside of herself.  I know that she certainly made life miserable for her children and her husband.  But I was young and she loved me and I did not know any better.
She was who let me watch The Twilight Zone.  I also remember watching the original Price Is Right on her orange faux nagahide couch. I remember her packing us a picnic dinner and putting it in a red wagon that we wheeled to the stock tank to eat and watch the catfish come up when we fed them the white bread.  I remember being able to drink little bottles of coke with her and having Schwan's vanilla ice cream.  I remember the back porch closet where she horded groceries because of living through the depression.

She was also a closet smoker.  Everyone in the family knew that she smoked because she would smoke around us.  But she was CONVINCED that my grandfather did not know.  She kept a glass jar under the couch in the living room where she kept all of her cigarette butts.  She would slip out onto the front porch, smoke then come in and stow her cig butt in the jar.  When she went on Wednesdays to get her groceries at Piggly Wiggly (Double green stamp day!) and get her hair done, she would dumb the butts in some trash can in town.   She would also smoke in the car.  Then, she would stop at the cattle guard outside of the house and douse herself and everyone in the car with her with Aqua Net to mask the smell of smoke.

It is a wonder that I lived though my childhood and did not go up in Aqua Net induced fire.

But most of all....I remember that she was an amazing cook.  She passed that love and skill on to my mom.  Who passed it on to me. 
 That is my Aunt Shelia's (from the none crazy side of the family) Chocolate Pie recipe.  It is SO GOOD!
So here in am.  A wee bit  crazy throwed off odd quirky myself.  I keep my favorite recipes taped in my cabinets too.   I keep my positive self statements in there too. 

Monday, December 03, 2012

Day 30

Day 30:  I am thankful for everything.  I got through this month.  I have learned to walk a little more in thankfulness each day and I did it.

Day 29

Day 29:  I am thankful for Sharpies, hot glue guns, glitter and fabric!

Day 28

Day 28:  I am thankful for my children and son in law.  They always know how to make me laugh with their wicked sence of humor.  They love me regardless and would fight a bear in the dark for me.